Surgery Day

The big day is finally here and it couldn't come soon enough. I am excited, nervous, terrified, starving and neurotic all at once. I am so bummed I have a late surgery- I started fasting at midnight and it's a long day til my 2:20 surgery. My stomach is growling so loud right now. I wonder if they deliver pizza to the OR? Ok bad joke.

Had a nice Mothers Day...we went to the Stone Zoo and the playground...then Lew took Nick to a carnival while I read on the deck- it was gorgeous out. I wanted to have a bbq or go out to eat so bad- old habits are hard to break. I am so sick of shakes, pudding and jello and i still hate yogurt. It's gonna be a long 8 weeks.

Well I dont really feel like writing...i've been a mess, crying off and on all day yesterday too. Made Lew videotape a message from me to Nick last night just in case something goes horribly wrong. I know its morbid but i had to do it. I just want this to be over with because I could call the whole thing off any second now. I feel like such a loser....I couldn't do it myself so I have to go put my life on the line now just to stop stuffing my face. I am so mad at myself.

Ok enough poor me, I'll end on a positive note, it's interesting to see who youre true friends are at a time like this. I got so many supportive calls and emails, some from people I expected and many I didnt. Just as interesting, are those who didnt' even take the time to hit the reply button after I sent out an email telling everyone about my surgery details and my blog. I know how busy we all are- but how do you not even respond to that - even in a quick email?! Well I choose to focus on all the wonderful friends who offered to help out and just wished me well. Your support means the world to me.

Winchester Hospital is not wifi enabled so I'll have to write about my surgery when i get home on Thursday. Ready or not....here i go.