Post Op Observations

Well I came home from the hospital today...can't say I am doing the happy dance- yet.
I'll try and remember key details here of the past 4 days. Arrived at Winchester Hospital Monday around noon....Dr. Ameri was running a bit late so they didnt start my surgery until around 3pm. I was a nervous wreck. Had the most wonderful nurse, I wish I could remember her name, she was an absolute doll and helped me relax and make it through the long wait. I guess I'll just take a minute here to say nurses in general are right up there with teachers in book, underpaid, underappreciated and way over worked.

So the big headline of the day was when they sent in a "messenger" as she called herself- she asked me when is the last time you ate solid food? I fessed up to having some cheese on Friday...I was terrifed that if I lied something could go horribly wrong or Dr. Ameri would be able to tell once he got in there. Let me just say that for those few bites and cheats I had in my 2 week pre-op, at that moment, I wished I had been stronger, because I was so mortified I had to confess and I really didnt know if Dr. Ameri was going to do the surgery or not. I know how strict he is.

Finally he came out of the OR to talk to us, he said "well I almost cancelled your surgery today because of the CHEESE." I was like oh my god. I felt so guilty and embarrassed. He looked me right in the eye and said- do you want to wait a few more weeks and make sure you are ready for this? I said- if i dont do it now I am never going to do it. So he said ok if you are sure you can be compliant with the post op rules, then let's do it. So he gave me a form to sign.

I have to say that was one of the most pivotal moments in my life because I came SO close to calling it off. There I was laying on the gurney, had my scrubs on, literally minutes away from surgery and he gave me an out. I truly believe god intervened and made the decision for me, because I felt like I wanted to call it off but couldnt get the words out. In my mind i could see myself getting dressed, stopping at the cafeteria for a big piece of chocolate cake and some milk, then heading out for a huge dinner with serious cocktails. But being the tv girl that I am, there was a split screen and on the other side, was a big fat unhappy me, going right back where i came from. I wasn't ready to retreat without knowing what might have been.

I also felt so bad because I felt like I let Dr. Ameri down, and that he was very disappointed in me. He said it was his job to pick the right candidates and he was very nervous that i would not be able to handle the post op rules so he was having doubts about me. I totally got what he said, because you can be sure I having doubts about me too! So this is where your average Dr. and Dr. Ameri part ways, most surgeons would probably never have taken the time to have this talk with me, I would be just another case and hey it would be my problem if I couldnt' be compliant. I know I am not the first to say it, but Dr. Ameri is a very, very special man and surgeon. He takes every case personally and is truly invested in the outcome. I feel so blessed to have found him- thanks Dr. Fullerton!

So I took a deep breathe, signed the form and he said i'll see you in there. Then god bless him, he must have known how upset I was because he started to walk away, then he came back and said- you know the reason i am doing this is because at least you were honest about the cheese, alot of patients wouldnt have said a word. So I know you want to do the right thing. I was so grateful for those words....they meant the world to me.

So now the tears really started, I was pretty much hyperventilating from fear, relief, who knows what else. Dr. Ameri asked the anestesiologist to give me something to calm me down. He came right over and I immediately got calm- let me tell you.

So here's where it gets uncomfortable. I woke up in recovery and started freaking out- coming out of anestetia was no picnic. I had a face mask on and felt like i was suffocating. My mouth was so dry and I couldnt catch my breath. I thought I must be dying. I had on those compression stockings to prevent blood clots, and a catheter in- but i dont think i realized either of those things at this point.
I was pretty groggy but I remember Lew waiting outside the recover room doors and being with me while they wheeled me into my room. I mnust give a shout out here to this silent superstar...my amazing husband who has been by my side through thick and thin- literally! He was there with me every step of the way and the man is a saint. just dont tell him i said so!

My summary of the next 3 days is basically this: if i could take this decision back- I would in a second. I know i prob wont feel this way a month from now- i pray. But I was in WAY more pain than I ever imagined and I regretted going forward big time.
Today is Thursday and I still feel that way- it was and is difficult to move around- i have 6 incision sites on mu upper abdomen- and they are stapled shut. I was screaming in pain every time I tried to move a muscle. But even worse than the pain was the dry mouth. Ok I am sure I must have read about this somewhere...maybe i blocked it out i dont know but the thirst factor was overwhelming. Imagine not being allowed even a SIP of water from Sunday at midnight until Wednesday noon. That was pure torture. We had these nasty sponge swabs but they didnt do squat. Oh my roomate had the bypass right before me so we were in the same hell. Let's just say we didnt get a chance to do much bonding, we were both in too much pain and sleeping most of the time. That was the only thing that got me through, was the pain med- i think it was dilotin? Wow it was amazing. I had a morphine pump for my C-section and this was way more effective.

So the days dragged on until Dr. Ameri finally arrived with our big treat, 4 tiny 1 ounce cups for drinking water. He wanted us to take about a half hour to drink each one of them, which i thought was crazy- but i couldnt even do that! Ok so here's the amazing thing- I was not hungry in the least- just dying of thirst. That water tasted so good, there are no words to describe. But it was weird taking a sip, it totally filled me up and i knew i had to wait awhile before having another sip. I finally understood what it meant to have a restriction.

Got a few phone calls in the hospital but i was in way too much pain to chat. Lots of nice flowers too, but i just couldnt appreciate them. I know that I am very dramatic and have a low pain tolerance, but my roomate was feeling the same as me, so i know i wasn't totally over reacting. Man I was and still am SORE. I think I was so busy trying to convince everyone around me and myself that the laproscopic version of the surgery would be a breeze, that i didnt expect any discomfort at all- which i know is pretty unrealistic.

So Dr. Ameri came around Thurs morning and took out our drains, another gross detail i forgot to mention- apparently this is what causes most of the discomfort the first 3 days...the drain pulls on your incision. I did feel much better when that and my IV came out. I felt free. My poor roomate was having bad diarrehea, so Dr. Ameri said she would have to stay an extra night to be safe, he didnt want her getting dehydrated. I know she was really disappointed, but knew it was for the best.

I finally got home around 1pm today and it was great to be home and especially see Nick. Of course he didnt really want much to do with me, he was spoiled rotten all week and didnt even miss me! I told him i got a boo boo on my tummy while i was gone on my "business trip," and I showed him by stomach binder (big girdle like thing that keeps everything tight so it doesnt hurt as much.) I was afraid he would try and jump on me like he usually does. He seemed mildly intersted in my situation, but really just wanted to play with my spirometer. Another item from my hospital goodie bag...I have to take deep breathes from it 10 times an hour to keep my lungs open and prevent infection.

So I'm getting tired now, but that's what's been happening. I am feeling my very first hunger sensation right now, its midnight and thats usually my time to get up and eat cookies and milk, so maybe it's head hunger I am not sure. The only thing I am sure about is I wont be eating anything. I am terrified of screwing up my new pouch. Hey i made it through all this, I have to give it a go now. I hope a few weeks or months from now I look back and laugh at this and say- this is the best thing I ever did- like so many before me do. I dont feel that way right now. But i did live to tell about it...so i will try and share as much of the journey as possible. Thankyou Dr. Ameri and A3 nurses for taking such good care of me- i will do you proud!