Chick (fil-A) Magnet

So I know I am not truly hungry but boy am I missing food. I think if I didnt have a kid, this would be SO much easier. But thank god I do, so I have to make 3 meals a day for him never mind snacks- the kid is a big time snacker.

It's been a crazy 24 hours. Went to Mommy and Me with Lisa and Scot. I had to sit in a chair instead of on the floor but Nick didnt mind and had a blast. We painted striped zebras with a marble- Miss Chris the teacher is ingenious- Nick loves the class so much. The Burlington Rec Dept rocks.

My parents came over yesterday and we went to the Burlington mall for a couple hours. It was good to get out but I was wiped after. We walked around for 2 hours and it took alot out of me. I figure I MIGHT have had 100 calories max in the past 12 days...which completely freaks me out when i think about what i used to log in a day. I dont even know how i am functioning. I feel pretty good overall considering.

Anyway we went to Chick fil-A for lunch- I of course had my propel water while everyone chowed down. It was tough. In the old days, Nick would have his kids nugget meal, I'd have the original chicken sandwich with pickles, we'd split his fries and a handspun milkshake. Sometimes we would even share a slice of Pizzeria Regina pizza if we were still hungry. Ya it was bad. I was thinking last night how I was really in detox the past few weeks from my 4 main food groups: Carbs, Sugar, Caffeine and Alcohol. All things considered, I am amazed how good I am feeling. I never even got the dreaded caffeine migraines that I am prone to. Dr. Ameri told me the other day that my body is so relieved to be done with all the toxins and it is just reinventing itself and loving the liquids. So why did it always feel so good to eat and drink that stuff at the time?

Anyway I was really struggling in the afternoon with cravings. I keep thinking about food and all the things I want. I am dreaming about my mashed potatoes week 5. I got depressed around dinner time...helped Nick make a mini pizza, which he loves to do. He has his own pizza kit, with a red checkered apron, pan, cutter and rolling pin.
The damn thing looked so good when it came out I almost cried. Then to add insult to injury- he decided he didnt want it and demanded a can of spaghettios instead. A CRIME! So the damn pizza sat there taunting me and he ate those nasty o's.

Then Lew came home and made one of the Lean Cuisine flatbreads I picked up for him- that smelled pretty amazing too. I found myself giving him dirty looks while he snacked on Nick's pizza while he waited for it to cook. I was so jealous, and thinking, man it would be so incredible to just eat what i want right now and not even been thinking about it. Which by the way is not true for Lew, he has been dieting like crazy and has incredible will power- which is also annoying. He has lost about 25 pounds the past few months and his clothes are falling off.

Tried to watch American Idol finale but i was too bummed out. I finally made an HMR lactose free chocolate shake and that was really good. But i could only get about 5 ounces down and that took me over an hour. You're prob thinking- so what that's good right? Yes for weight loss, but the key to this bypass puzzle is you have to figure out how to get in 60 grams of protein daily and right now it is close to impossible because my pouch is still swollen and healing. So 1 HMR shake is worth 14 grams of protein, but i couldnt even drink half of it. It also doesn't keep well so Lew finished the rest. It's all a learning process and I know it will get easier. I am obsessed with the protein because I am dreading losing hair, which 99% of patients do. Apparently the more protein you can get in, the less hair you lose.

So then the night time games began. It started at 2:30am when Nick snuck into my room and crawled in bed with me. I was nervous because he's a kicker so I laid awake for an hour praying he wouldnt jab me in the gut. Then he said- mommy i'm hungry let's go downstairs. I was wide awake so i said ok. He doesn't do this on a regular basis. He wanted some mini powdered donuts and milk....and let me tell you, so did I. So i set him up....then cleaned the kitchen and organized all my junk baskets while he watched Barney. Thank god for 24 hour Sprout TV. We finally went up around 4:30. I must have just fallen asleep when the dogs started slamming the door trying to get in at 5:30am. What a night...I think i got about 4 hours sleep.

Speaking of which i have to go take a nap. Nick is at school and then my inlaws are going to take him to Whole Foods (his favorite) to look for some sugar free lactose free icecream and milk for me so i can make some shakes. I dont even know if i have the lactose problem, but i figure its safer for right now.

Oh so the reason i sat down to do this now, is i just cleaned up from Nick's lunch- left over chick fil-A and I wanted those nuggests so damn bad. I remembered something i read in Carnie's book so i put one in my mouth and chewed it and then spit it out. While it was quite satisying to chew and taste it, i am kind of disturbed that i did that. I hope its not some weird eating disorder behavior. I am going to try and refrain from doing that again. I cant wait for Tues to get my staples out.

Final note, I am not sure how i feel about David Cook winning Idol. I think he is way more talented than Archie, but Archie was the perfect Idol type kid! Cook seemed more like the Daughtry type and I think he might have better off not winning. I hope I'm wrong- cuz i would buy his music now...I loved Billie Jean! I thought the finale was great- LOVED the ZZ Top number- man Cook was amazing.

Ok down 31 pounds today...in 3 weeks. I'll take it.