One Holiday and Birthday down, 1 Holiday and Birthday Party to go. What a crazy week. Had a wonderful Christmas with my parents here from Florida. Nick has more toys that he even knows what to do with. Followed by more toys for his birthday. If the kid could have just waited until his Feb 11th due date he wouldnt have such an embarrassment of riches this time of year! I can't believe I have a 4 year old now:)
Lew is on vacation so we've been getting some stuff done, enjoying all the new toys with Nick and even had a date today...which happens to be the 7 year anniversary of the day we met. I was reflecting on all that has happened in that time- wow.
We went to see Marley and Me, what a tear jerker. I was a mess, I can't believe I couldnt read the book, the movie was soooo good. I tried to read it awhile back but couldnt get into it. That was the best movie I have seen in a long time. It killed me. We checked out Blue Stove at Nordstroms after. It's a tapas/wine bar and man was it good. This is my new favorite restaurant, by far. It is perfect for me, small plates with no carbs! We had crispy dark cherry glazed beef, fingerling potatoes with chorizo, lemon risotto with grilled sea scallops, and thai chicken satay with crunchy spicy peanut sauce. The chef also sent over a complimentary tapa of braised short ribs. YUMMO as Rachel Ray would say....we loved everything. Had the best wine too...every time I order something from the Paso Robles region of Cali, it is a winner.
So I was thrilled I didnt get sick from anything, as I have had a few incidents the past week with all the holiday food. I had a nice wine induced nap from 8-11pm when I got home- laid down with Nick- and now I am up and at em. I hit a new low today- I am now just 4 pounds away from my original goal weight. I still can not believe it.
I am feeling great and been doing the eliptical almost every day. I love it.
Nick and I signed up for swimming lessons today at the Y- I was so happy to find a class where you can get in the pool with them and not just drop him off as I knew that would not fly. So that will be our new winter routine, Daddy and me on Sat mornings and Swimming with Mom on Sunday mornings...a nice break for Lew and I get Sat me time.
Not much else new, looking forward to another snow storm tomorrow and heading over to our neighbors for our annual 4-8pm New Years appetizers and cocktails. Been thinking about Puerto Rico and getting excited for some fun in the sun.
Thought for the day courtesy of SugarLand- great workout song!
"I ain't settling for just getting by
I've had enough so so for the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high
Just enough ain't enough this time
I ain't settling for anything less than everything"
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
7 Months Post Op Wow Moments
Where does the time go- I cant believe I haven't blogged for almost a month. Maybe because I have been having too much fun and enjoying the new me to the hilt. So I won't apologize!
I am 7 months out now and down 105 pounds. I'll try to explain what my life is like now, but really there are no words. The changes are profound; physically, mentally and emotionally. I bought a dress for my holiday work party the other day and it was a size 12. A SIZE 12! That might not seem too small to people who have never had a weight problem, but let me tell you, coming down from a size 28/30 it is really a BIG deal. I nearly screamed with happiness from the fitting room....and I still can't believe it sometimes. In fact, I find myself still going directly to the plus size departments of stores, heading straight for the handicapped stalls in bathrooms, and putting clothes that are WAY too big into my shopping cart only to try them on then realize- nope- i need to go down a few more sizes. It is so much fun I must say!
I am finally feeling really good for the first time since surgery. This past month has been fantastic, as far as not getting sick and being able to eat just about anything I want. Small portions of course, but I haven't had any problems. It's almost like be careful what you wish for, because I now understand how and why people can gain their weight back. It's still early in the game for me, but it's already getting so much easier to eat more at a time, and more of a variety...which could be very dangerous. I am now responsible for my own choices again...which is what got me into trouble in the first place. The past 6 months I was so limited to just a few foods and the volume was so miniscule...I really could not screw up if I tried. But now, I really have to stay on top of what I am taking in, and step up my exercise to maintain my loss, and hopefully lose another 20 pounds or so.
I am not doing a very good job of this today...so far I have had 3 bites of a bagel with cream cheese and 2 cups of coffee. BAD! I got up at 5am to come into work for ice storm coverage...but there really isn't much to do so I am catching up on stuff. I was able to do my xmas cards and change the ring tone on my cell phone to my new fave Beyonce song...so I am being very productive! HAHA! But I have been doing well overall...it's only noon so I'll get back on track today. I am already chugging down my crystal lite and I'll have some protein apps at Pam's party later today.
I only wish I could have one of those yummy holiday martinis they are famous for, but prob not a good idea with all the sugary juice and syrups they use in them.
I have been having lots of egg salad, deviled eggs, grilled chicken over greek salads and I even tried steak for the first time with no problem. I had to laugh though, I bought these 4 oz filet mignons from Omaha Steaks and the guys tried to talk me out of it because he said they are way too small and I should buy the bigger ones. I didnt feel like explaining why they were perfect for me- I just said I was going to use them for apps! Anyway I made one on the grill and I was nervous so I ate about a third of it, then the next day I was able to eat 2 more meals with left overs! I had some over salad for lunch, and then for dinner I made it into a little steak and cheese mini tortilla wrap. So the 40z steak that was too small gave me 3 meals! I remember going to Capital Grill and ordering the biggest steak on the menu- prob 14 ozs and eating the whole thing along with salad, bread, mashed potatoes and even dessert. That boggles my mind now! The best thing about this surgery is you can still have your cake and eat it too. I can have a taste of the things I love but a taste is enough.
I made a batch of eggface's eggnog protein icecream- yummy and tried the most amazing shake recipe from eggface for a peppermint mocha protein shake made with Click. Man it was incredible- better than Starbucks for sure. I dont know what I would do without my eggface...she is my hero. Even if you are not post op she has some awesome low carb/sugar recipes that anyone could benefit from...so check it out!
theworldaccordingtoeggface.com
I am 7 months out now and down 105 pounds. I'll try to explain what my life is like now, but really there are no words. The changes are profound; physically, mentally and emotionally. I bought a dress for my holiday work party the other day and it was a size 12. A SIZE 12! That might not seem too small to people who have never had a weight problem, but let me tell you, coming down from a size 28/30 it is really a BIG deal. I nearly screamed with happiness from the fitting room....and I still can't believe it sometimes. In fact, I find myself still going directly to the plus size departments of stores, heading straight for the handicapped stalls in bathrooms, and putting clothes that are WAY too big into my shopping cart only to try them on then realize- nope- i need to go down a few more sizes. It is so much fun I must say!
I am finally feeling really good for the first time since surgery. This past month has been fantastic, as far as not getting sick and being able to eat just about anything I want. Small portions of course, but I haven't had any problems. It's almost like be careful what you wish for, because I now understand how and why people can gain their weight back. It's still early in the game for me, but it's already getting so much easier to eat more at a time, and more of a variety...which could be very dangerous. I am now responsible for my own choices again...which is what got me into trouble in the first place. The past 6 months I was so limited to just a few foods and the volume was so miniscule...I really could not screw up if I tried. But now, I really have to stay on top of what I am taking in, and step up my exercise to maintain my loss, and hopefully lose another 20 pounds or so.
I am not doing a very good job of this today...so far I have had 3 bites of a bagel with cream cheese and 2 cups of coffee. BAD! I got up at 5am to come into work for ice storm coverage...but there really isn't much to do so I am catching up on stuff. I was able to do my xmas cards and change the ring tone on my cell phone to my new fave Beyonce song...so I am being very productive! HAHA! But I have been doing well overall...it's only noon so I'll get back on track today. I am already chugging down my crystal lite and I'll have some protein apps at Pam's party later today.
I only wish I could have one of those yummy holiday martinis they are famous for, but prob not a good idea with all the sugary juice and syrups they use in them.
I have been having lots of egg salad, deviled eggs, grilled chicken over greek salads and I even tried steak for the first time with no problem. I had to laugh though, I bought these 4 oz filet mignons from Omaha Steaks and the guys tried to talk me out of it because he said they are way too small and I should buy the bigger ones. I didnt feel like explaining why they were perfect for me- I just said I was going to use them for apps! Anyway I made one on the grill and I was nervous so I ate about a third of it, then the next day I was able to eat 2 more meals with left overs! I had some over salad for lunch, and then for dinner I made it into a little steak and cheese mini tortilla wrap. So the 40z steak that was too small gave me 3 meals! I remember going to Capital Grill and ordering the biggest steak on the menu- prob 14 ozs and eating the whole thing along with salad, bread, mashed potatoes and even dessert. That boggles my mind now! The best thing about this surgery is you can still have your cake and eat it too. I can have a taste of the things I love but a taste is enough.
I made a batch of eggface's eggnog protein icecream- yummy and tried the most amazing shake recipe from eggface for a peppermint mocha protein shake made with Click. Man it was incredible- better than Starbucks for sure. I dont know what I would do without my eggface...she is my hero. Even if you are not post op she has some awesome low carb/sugar recipes that anyone could benefit from...so check it out!
theworldaccordingtoeggface.com
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Elf on a Shelf- Shelved
So thanks to my friend Leslie, super mom, savvy shopper and anchor extra-ordinaire...I was on a quest to find the latest and greatest must have for spoiled rotten kids who have everything- translation- Nick Cote.
She told me about the Elf on a Shelf....apparently I am the last to know because its been hot for a few years now but going mainstream this year. It's basically a funny looking little elf that you hide around the house each day and he reports back to Santa if you've been naughty or nice. So parents use it as a tool to keeping present obsessed kids in line and most kids get a real kick out of it. Well not my kid. I finally found the little $30 bugger at Hallmark today...and was so excited to give him to Nick. Of course he wanted nothing to do with it and screamed at me not to take it out of the box. I think Nick just takes things very literally and he wanted not part of some elf who might be able to report back to Santa when he's naughty. He prob figures he's better off taking his chances without a little spy hanging around the house- smart kid of mine.
Anyway had a great weekend...was able to catch up with one of my best friends, Kathy Dovas Saturday. We met at Pheasant Lane Mall and it was so luxurious to sit and chat at Starbucks for at least an hour...especially over free lattes! HAHA long story.
Kathy also introduced me to one of her weaknesses- those damn annoying carts where they are always offering free samples and asking for just a minute of your time. I always ignore them and keep walking. But nooooo not Kathy. By the time we were through we were the proud new owners of not 1 but 3 miracle nail kits, a wet AND dry ceramic hair iron, and of course the roman oil hair styling kit to go with it. I could have killed her. She is INSANE. But we had alot of laughs, got our hair straightened, and made some nice new friends with foreign accents. Love ya Kath!
Today we did some errands, then hung out at home so Lew could of course watch the Pats Dolphins game. Our neighbors came over and the kids had a good time.
I am very proud that I did the eliptical 6 our of 7 days this past week. Where did that come from? I didnt even really plan it. I just really looked forward to it every day. Things have been going pretty well in the food department. 9 straight days without getting sick. Ever since my appt with Dr. Ameri. So I think our talk did help and I am not so quick to try and get sick when I feel full. I've been trying to eat more consciously, slowly and chew more...and I guess it's working.
Two big milestones to report...I had my first wrap sandwich and a protein shake and both stayed down! I had a half a wrap of grilled chicken, avocado and boursin cheese from the Soup Factory the other day at work. I ate it for 2 meals and man it was AMAZING. I think because it was on lavash bread and not a soft wrap is why it worked. Today I made tiramisu protein icecream- yum- and made the left overs into a shake so I didnt waste it. It was really good! I felt like I was having a mudslide...I did use a coupel tablespoons of Kahlua in it- woo hoo. This could be a big step forward for me because I have been concerned with the carbs lately and I think if I can have a protein shake every day instead of so many crackers, bread, english muffin etc...I will be much better off.
Well Lew and I are going to watch the 24 Movie...finally JACK IS BACK!
Thought of the day courtesy of Beyonce and my new favorite song:
"If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it!"
She told me about the Elf on a Shelf....apparently I am the last to know because its been hot for a few years now but going mainstream this year. It's basically a funny looking little elf that you hide around the house each day and he reports back to Santa if you've been naughty or nice. So parents use it as a tool to keeping present obsessed kids in line and most kids get a real kick out of it. Well not my kid. I finally found the little $30 bugger at Hallmark today...and was so excited to give him to Nick. Of course he wanted nothing to do with it and screamed at me not to take it out of the box. I think Nick just takes things very literally and he wanted not part of some elf who might be able to report back to Santa when he's naughty. He prob figures he's better off taking his chances without a little spy hanging around the house- smart kid of mine.
Anyway had a great weekend...was able to catch up with one of my best friends, Kathy Dovas Saturday. We met at Pheasant Lane Mall and it was so luxurious to sit and chat at Starbucks for at least an hour...especially over free lattes! HAHA long story.
Kathy also introduced me to one of her weaknesses- those damn annoying carts where they are always offering free samples and asking for just a minute of your time. I always ignore them and keep walking. But nooooo not Kathy. By the time we were through we were the proud new owners of not 1 but 3 miracle nail kits, a wet AND dry ceramic hair iron, and of course the roman oil hair styling kit to go with it. I could have killed her. She is INSANE. But we had alot of laughs, got our hair straightened, and made some nice new friends with foreign accents. Love ya Kath!
Today we did some errands, then hung out at home so Lew could of course watch the Pats Dolphins game. Our neighbors came over and the kids had a good time.
I am very proud that I did the eliptical 6 our of 7 days this past week. Where did that come from? I didnt even really plan it. I just really looked forward to it every day. Things have been going pretty well in the food department. 9 straight days without getting sick. Ever since my appt with Dr. Ameri. So I think our talk did help and I am not so quick to try and get sick when I feel full. I've been trying to eat more consciously, slowly and chew more...and I guess it's working.
Two big milestones to report...I had my first wrap sandwich and a protein shake and both stayed down! I had a half a wrap of grilled chicken, avocado and boursin cheese from the Soup Factory the other day at work. I ate it for 2 meals and man it was AMAZING. I think because it was on lavash bread and not a soft wrap is why it worked. Today I made tiramisu protein icecream- yum- and made the left overs into a shake so I didnt waste it. It was really good! I felt like I was having a mudslide...I did use a coupel tablespoons of Kahlua in it- woo hoo. This could be a big step forward for me because I have been concerned with the carbs lately and I think if I can have a protein shake every day instead of so many crackers, bread, english muffin etc...I will be much better off.
Well Lew and I are going to watch the 24 Movie...finally JACK IS BACK!
Thought of the day courtesy of Beyonce and my new favorite song:
"If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it!"
Saturday, November 15, 2008
74 degrees in November?
What a crazy couple of days....it's been so balmy, albeit rainy and dismal, but hey i'll take it with the warm temps. Had a great day...my Saturday morning ritual, 1 hour of blissful alone time, coffee and magazines on the chaise lounge with the dogs by my side. Nick and Lew go to their Daddy and Me class at the Rec Dept and it is so nice to have the house to myself....when does that happen right? Anyway we did a bunch of errands and got alot done around the house....which almost never happens because when the weather is nice you will find me anyplace but in the house. Took a nice long walk/run with the dogs late this afternoon and it was raining but it was so nice.
So I had my appt with Dr. Ameri...he and Louise were thrilled with my progress...said I was right where I should be in terms of weight loss for 6 months- a little ahead but nothing drastic. Which is good because I dont want to lose it too fast and then have problems down the road. I ended up crying and giving Dr. Ameri a big hug when he came in to see me....I didnt plan it...but it was heartfelt. I thanked him for taking a chance on me because I was thinking about how he almost cancelled my surgery when i admitted to eating cheese a few days before when i was supposed to be on my liquid diet. I remember telling him that day that if i didnt have it done that day I would never do it. And I do believe that. Thank god he went ahead with the surgery.
Anyway he is concerned about my vomitting so frequently. He wants to do a scope, but we are giving it 2 weeks to see how many times I get sick and what triggers it. So I have to keep a journal and try to figure out if we notice any trends. I am glad we are trying this first because if they have to do the scope, basically the little instrument they use to probe my poouch could stretch the opening to the pouch, and whether I end up having a stricture or not, it could really screw up my progress and success by allowing me to eat more. I dont want that to happen!
He said the hair loss is totally normal and should start slowing down soon. Overall they were just very happy for me and it all went great. I started crying when I told Dr. Ameri that just 6 months ago I would drop Nick off at pre school and then come home and set my alarm so I could sleep for 2 hours becuase I was in a sugar and carb coma every day and I was so exhuasted I couldnt even function. I told him that now I work out on the eliptical, clean my house, walk the dogs around the neighborhood and then usuallly still have time to read or relax for a bit before I pick him up. I thought that small example really summed up the improvements in my life and I am so grateful to him for giving it back to me.
Thought for the day:
"Dont be afraid your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin."
So I had my appt with Dr. Ameri...he and Louise were thrilled with my progress...said I was right where I should be in terms of weight loss for 6 months- a little ahead but nothing drastic. Which is good because I dont want to lose it too fast and then have problems down the road. I ended up crying and giving Dr. Ameri a big hug when he came in to see me....I didnt plan it...but it was heartfelt. I thanked him for taking a chance on me because I was thinking about how he almost cancelled my surgery when i admitted to eating cheese a few days before when i was supposed to be on my liquid diet. I remember telling him that day that if i didnt have it done that day I would never do it. And I do believe that. Thank god he went ahead with the surgery.
Anyway he is concerned about my vomitting so frequently. He wants to do a scope, but we are giving it 2 weeks to see how many times I get sick and what triggers it. So I have to keep a journal and try to figure out if we notice any trends. I am glad we are trying this first because if they have to do the scope, basically the little instrument they use to probe my poouch could stretch the opening to the pouch, and whether I end up having a stricture or not, it could really screw up my progress and success by allowing me to eat more. I dont want that to happen!
He said the hair loss is totally normal and should start slowing down soon. Overall they were just very happy for me and it all went great. I started crying when I told Dr. Ameri that just 6 months ago I would drop Nick off at pre school and then come home and set my alarm so I could sleep for 2 hours becuase I was in a sugar and carb coma every day and I was so exhuasted I couldnt even function. I told him that now I work out on the eliptical, clean my house, walk the dogs around the neighborhood and then usuallly still have time to read or relax for a bit before I pick him up. I thought that small example really summed up the improvements in my life and I am so grateful to him for giving it back to me.
Thought for the day:
"Dont be afraid your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin."
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Minus 100 pounds later.....
Today is my 6 month surgi-versary. 6 Months ago today at this hour I was headed to Winchester Hospital- close to 300 pounds and freaking out would be an understatement.
Fast forward to today, conveniently, I hit the 100 pound loss mark this morning- exactly 6 months after my surgery! I did my measurements this morning and that is even more astounding- if that is possible! I have lost a total of 56 inches-of fat I presume! I mean that is almost 5 FEET of FAT! My BMI has gone from a 48 Morbidly Obest, to a 31- which is still in the obese category- which annoys me! But I am sure it will still be going down. I have gone from a size 28/30 to my all time low the other day of SIZE 12! I think that particular pair of pants ran big- but WHO CARES!?!
So those are the factual numbers and stats. But even more important are the changes in my everyday life. I am definitely happier, healthier, and more comfortable in my own skin. My sister in law was asking me the other day what it feels like to lose a hundred pounds and my answer surprised me. I told her I feel completely comfortable and normal, and that isn't the weird part, it was more bizarre to be so big, and feel so strange. I feel like I am the way I am supposed to be now, and it's not really a big deal, if that makes any sense.
I still have challenges, but things are getting better. I have been getting sick alot but its kind of part of the drill now, and not so dramatic and drawn out as it was in the early days. I was able to have a couple glasses of wine and lots of yummy appetizers at a cocktail party this past weekend so that was great. I have noticed a pattern, when i have wine, I am able to eat much more easily. I heard that it relaxes all your muscles so that's prob why everything goes down fine! Definitely not something to do every day but nice to know.
I still get sick from basic stuff that is fine one day and hits me wrong the next- that is most maddening. Eggs, most veggies, red meat and pasta are still off limits.
But crispy pizza, high quality bread, chicken, fish, cheeses and most everything else are fine in small amounts. I subsitute splenda for sugar in everything and they even have a splenda brown sugar now so I do all my baking and no one even notices the difference. I am still a soup addict, and yogurt, power bars and protein icecream will always be my staples.
I definitely need to work on my exercise routine, it has been haphazard at best. I feel like I have alot more energy in general, but if I do a workout it depletes half my calories for the day, and I cant just eat more like most people do. So I am working on that puzzle.
I still have 12 pounds to go to reach my original goal...and I had given myself a year to do that! I suspect I will be going below that goal, whether I like it or not. That is one of my concerns, being able to stop losing when I want/need to.
Right now the biggest bummer is my hair loss. It has been going on for 2 months now with no signs of letting up. Thank god I started with so much hair...but I can tell the difference big time. Lew says he cant, but its really bothering me. I am anxious for my 6 month check up with Dr. Ameri Friday. Maybe he will have some ideas for me on that and the getting sick so frequently.
But overall I am finally ready to say I made the right decision. If you read this blog since the beginning, you know I did not feel that way for a long time. I know it was the answer for me...because honestly right this second, if i could get my paws on a Boston Kreme donut, I'd be scarfing it down! Hey I am still me, and thank god this tool keeps me in check.
Well Nick and I are road tripping to Newport today to celebrate and have some seafood for lunch...check out the shops and boats. Here's to the next 6 months and healthy years ahead.
Thought for the Day:
"What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?"
Fast forward to today, conveniently, I hit the 100 pound loss mark this morning- exactly 6 months after my surgery! I did my measurements this morning and that is even more astounding- if that is possible! I have lost a total of 56 inches-of fat I presume! I mean that is almost 5 FEET of FAT! My BMI has gone from a 48 Morbidly Obest, to a 31- which is still in the obese category- which annoys me! But I am sure it will still be going down. I have gone from a size 28/30 to my all time low the other day of SIZE 12! I think that particular pair of pants ran big- but WHO CARES!?!
So those are the factual numbers and stats. But even more important are the changes in my everyday life. I am definitely happier, healthier, and more comfortable in my own skin. My sister in law was asking me the other day what it feels like to lose a hundred pounds and my answer surprised me. I told her I feel completely comfortable and normal, and that isn't the weird part, it was more bizarre to be so big, and feel so strange. I feel like I am the way I am supposed to be now, and it's not really a big deal, if that makes any sense.
I still have challenges, but things are getting better. I have been getting sick alot but its kind of part of the drill now, and not so dramatic and drawn out as it was in the early days. I was able to have a couple glasses of wine and lots of yummy appetizers at a cocktail party this past weekend so that was great. I have noticed a pattern, when i have wine, I am able to eat much more easily. I heard that it relaxes all your muscles so that's prob why everything goes down fine! Definitely not something to do every day but nice to know.
I still get sick from basic stuff that is fine one day and hits me wrong the next- that is most maddening. Eggs, most veggies, red meat and pasta are still off limits.
But crispy pizza, high quality bread, chicken, fish, cheeses and most everything else are fine in small amounts. I subsitute splenda for sugar in everything and they even have a splenda brown sugar now so I do all my baking and no one even notices the difference. I am still a soup addict, and yogurt, power bars and protein icecream will always be my staples.
I definitely need to work on my exercise routine, it has been haphazard at best. I feel like I have alot more energy in general, but if I do a workout it depletes half my calories for the day, and I cant just eat more like most people do. So I am working on that puzzle.
I still have 12 pounds to go to reach my original goal...and I had given myself a year to do that! I suspect I will be going below that goal, whether I like it or not. That is one of my concerns, being able to stop losing when I want/need to.
Right now the biggest bummer is my hair loss. It has been going on for 2 months now with no signs of letting up. Thank god I started with so much hair...but I can tell the difference big time. Lew says he cant, but its really bothering me. I am anxious for my 6 month check up with Dr. Ameri Friday. Maybe he will have some ideas for me on that and the getting sick so frequently.
But overall I am finally ready to say I made the right decision. If you read this blog since the beginning, you know I did not feel that way for a long time. I know it was the answer for me...because honestly right this second, if i could get my paws on a Boston Kreme donut, I'd be scarfing it down! Hey I am still me, and thank god this tool keeps me in check.
Well Nick and I are road tripping to Newport today to celebrate and have some seafood for lunch...check out the shops and boats. Here's to the next 6 months and healthy years ahead.
Thought for the Day:
"What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?"
Friday, October 31, 2008
Trick or Treat
Well Nick got up at 4:45am today...and declared that he was "ready to go trick or treating." I told him no honey that's not til later tonite when it's dark out. He ran to the window, pulled up the shade and said "it's dark out now mom!"
Well the kid had a point! So it's been a looong day. We were at the local diner by 6:45am eating breakfast, half a slice of bacon and coffee for me, the works for him.
Target at 8am sharp picking out candy that I would not be tempted to eat- translation- no chocolate. I'll be so popular in the hood tonite. Now we are vegging out- I've been working a ton lately, it's nice to be home and not have any plans. I wanted to take a ride to Salem to check out the craziness, but Lew talked me out of it. He's no fun. I figured the kooks might not be out at 10am...but Lew said I was wrong!
We are going over our neighbors at 5 for dinner then all going trick or treating, so it should be a great night. I must admit I bought myself some sugar free candy last week and it is amazingly delicious. I dont miss the sugar at all. The Reese Cups and Russells Coconut chocolates are the best!
Overall I have been experiencing some kind of amazing turn around the past couple weeks. I cant believe how many different things I have been able to tolerate and I haven't gotten sick barely at all. Except for a bad call earlier this week...I was feeling way too good so of course I had to order a frontega chicken panini at Panera. WHAT was I thinking? I had about 3 bites - in about 20 mins- took it real slow and thought it was fine. But then it was over and I got sick. At least it came up fast and I wasn't sick for hours like I used to be. I found bread that I can tolerate- which might not be such a good thing. It's called Seeduction from Whole Foods and it is sooooo good. I am limiting myself to 1 slice a day to be safe...the slices are really small too...but I can see this becoming a problem so this might be my first and last loaf. I froze most of it because it will go bad way before I get to it.
I hit 97 pounds today- I really can not believe it. I would love to 100 before my 6 month check up with Dr. Ameri on Nov 14th. Took a nice long walk yesterday with my Ipod and it was great...I was thinking about everything that has happened in the past year and I truly feel grateful and blessed to have made this decision for myself and my family. It hasn't been easy and it is far from over, but I know it was the right thing for me.
Well we are off to the Blue Tulip to get a Halloween Night light- half price!
Hope your night is full of healthy treats!
Well the kid had a point! So it's been a looong day. We were at the local diner by 6:45am eating breakfast, half a slice of bacon and coffee for me, the works for him.
Target at 8am sharp picking out candy that I would not be tempted to eat- translation- no chocolate. I'll be so popular in the hood tonite. Now we are vegging out- I've been working a ton lately, it's nice to be home and not have any plans. I wanted to take a ride to Salem to check out the craziness, but Lew talked me out of it. He's no fun. I figured the kooks might not be out at 10am...but Lew said I was wrong!
We are going over our neighbors at 5 for dinner then all going trick or treating, so it should be a great night. I must admit I bought myself some sugar free candy last week and it is amazingly delicious. I dont miss the sugar at all. The Reese Cups and Russells Coconut chocolates are the best!
Overall I have been experiencing some kind of amazing turn around the past couple weeks. I cant believe how many different things I have been able to tolerate and I haven't gotten sick barely at all. Except for a bad call earlier this week...I was feeling way too good so of course I had to order a frontega chicken panini at Panera. WHAT was I thinking? I had about 3 bites - in about 20 mins- took it real slow and thought it was fine. But then it was over and I got sick. At least it came up fast and I wasn't sick for hours like I used to be. I found bread that I can tolerate- which might not be such a good thing. It's called Seeduction from Whole Foods and it is sooooo good. I am limiting myself to 1 slice a day to be safe...the slices are really small too...but I can see this becoming a problem so this might be my first and last loaf. I froze most of it because it will go bad way before I get to it.
I hit 97 pounds today- I really can not believe it. I would love to 100 before my 6 month check up with Dr. Ameri on Nov 14th. Took a nice long walk yesterday with my Ipod and it was great...I was thinking about everything that has happened in the past year and I truly feel grateful and blessed to have made this decision for myself and my family. It hasn't been easy and it is far from over, but I know it was the right thing for me.
Well we are off to the Blue Tulip to get a Halloween Night light- half price!
Hope your night is full of healthy treats!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Down in the Dumps
So a few days ago I bragged about how I had never dumped. Well that's all it took....and here is the update.
Nick and I went into Boston after school Tuesday to visit the seals outside the Aquarium...then we went over to Quincy Market for lunch and shopping. We walked through the Faneuil Hall Food Court...wow it's been ages since I've been in there and it was overhwelming. I wanted everything. I was too afraid to try anything though and planned to eat my protein bar...until I met 2 exes named Dale and Thomas.
I discovered their popcorn at Target about a year ago and it is incredible. I love the chocolate carmel drizzle and wouldnt' you know they have set up shop in the Faneuil Hall Food court? I knew the sugar must be through the roof, but I didnt care. I bought a bag and dove in while we walked around. I was thinking- man I am gonna pay for this....I think deep down I have been pushing the envelope, trying to figure out just what I am going to get away with. So I ate several handfuls- the stuff is addictive. Everything was totally fine. I couldnt believe it. I realize that I definitely didn't eat even a quarter of what I would have in my pre-op days, but I still had at least a cup full- which equals 32 grams of sugar! My guidelines call for nothing over 7 grams!!!! So I was thinking- oh my god- I guess sugar isn't going to be a problem for me. And that scared me. Big time.
Fast forward to Wed night- I had asked Lew to hide the bag down in his office, but decided I wanted more- so he got it for me. Don't blame him- he knows better than to stand between me and whatever I am craving. I started in on the bag, and after about 2 handfuls I started feeling funny. It was a new feeling though, not my usual stuck or full I'm gonna hurl feeling. I was woozy and felt like I was on drugs, blood rushing through my veins and my heart pounding out of my chest. I was like OMG Lew I think I am dumping. I made it up to bed and laid down, and it was like being really drunk and having bad bed spins. Somehow I must have fallen asleep though and when I woke up the next morning I was ok- just felt like I had a hangover. So it wasn't as bad as some of the accounts I have read, but I would be in no "rush" to experience it again. I am also glad it happened because I dont want to be tempted by sugar.
So I'm back on track...made a new batch of lemon protein icecream and been living on water crackers with a smear of Stonewall Kitchen Holiday Jam and cheddar cheese. Yum.
I had 2 small pieces of the best quesadilla the other night, baked really crispy with brie, green apple slices, almonds, cranberries and almonds. Amazing. Tonite I had 1 baked mozzarella stick that I made myself. I was tired of looking at those mozarella sticks in the fridge that Nick wasn't eating. So I rolled them in flaxseed and whole wheat panko crumbs, froze them and then baked them in the toaster oven. So good. Lew woofed them down. Tomorrow I think I will make a sugar free pumpkin pie and do a chicken recipe in my crock pot...supposed to be a nice rainy day and the Pats are on so we'll be home.
Ok I am exhausted. Grant's bday party was a blast today...Nick loved being on the farm, seeing the animals and taking a tractor ride out to pick a pumpkin. I am so glad I was able to be there. Funny how everything works out the way it should...most of the time!
Thought for the night as I try and move on from the Battle in the Berkshires
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, today is a gift, that's why its called the present."
Nick and I went into Boston after school Tuesday to visit the seals outside the Aquarium...then we went over to Quincy Market for lunch and shopping. We walked through the Faneuil Hall Food Court...wow it's been ages since I've been in there and it was overhwelming. I wanted everything. I was too afraid to try anything though and planned to eat my protein bar...until I met 2 exes named Dale and Thomas.
I discovered their popcorn at Target about a year ago and it is incredible. I love the chocolate carmel drizzle and wouldnt' you know they have set up shop in the Faneuil Hall Food court? I knew the sugar must be through the roof, but I didnt care. I bought a bag and dove in while we walked around. I was thinking- man I am gonna pay for this....I think deep down I have been pushing the envelope, trying to figure out just what I am going to get away with. So I ate several handfuls- the stuff is addictive. Everything was totally fine. I couldnt believe it. I realize that I definitely didn't eat even a quarter of what I would have in my pre-op days, but I still had at least a cup full- which equals 32 grams of sugar! My guidelines call for nothing over 7 grams!!!! So I was thinking- oh my god- I guess sugar isn't going to be a problem for me. And that scared me. Big time.
Fast forward to Wed night- I had asked Lew to hide the bag down in his office, but decided I wanted more- so he got it for me. Don't blame him- he knows better than to stand between me and whatever I am craving. I started in on the bag, and after about 2 handfuls I started feeling funny. It was a new feeling though, not my usual stuck or full I'm gonna hurl feeling. I was woozy and felt like I was on drugs, blood rushing through my veins and my heart pounding out of my chest. I was like OMG Lew I think I am dumping. I made it up to bed and laid down, and it was like being really drunk and having bad bed spins. Somehow I must have fallen asleep though and when I woke up the next morning I was ok- just felt like I had a hangover. So it wasn't as bad as some of the accounts I have read, but I would be in no "rush" to experience it again. I am also glad it happened because I dont want to be tempted by sugar.
So I'm back on track...made a new batch of lemon protein icecream and been living on water crackers with a smear of Stonewall Kitchen Holiday Jam and cheddar cheese. Yum.
I had 2 small pieces of the best quesadilla the other night, baked really crispy with brie, green apple slices, almonds, cranberries and almonds. Amazing. Tonite I had 1 baked mozzarella stick that I made myself. I was tired of looking at those mozarella sticks in the fridge that Nick wasn't eating. So I rolled them in flaxseed and whole wheat panko crumbs, froze them and then baked them in the toaster oven. So good. Lew woofed them down. Tomorrow I think I will make a sugar free pumpkin pie and do a chicken recipe in my crock pot...supposed to be a nice rainy day and the Pats are on so we'll be home.
Ok I am exhausted. Grant's bday party was a blast today...Nick loved being on the farm, seeing the animals and taking a tractor ride out to pick a pumpkin. I am so glad I was able to be there. Funny how everything works out the way it should...most of the time!
Thought for the night as I try and move on from the Battle in the Berkshires
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, today is a gift, that's why its called the present."
Girls Weekend Gone Bad
Well I promised to share this journey in its entirety so here we go. I was so excited for girls weekend - going to the Berkshires for 2 nights. It started out great...fun drive up, awesome house, hanging on the porch and just chatting and sipping wine. Then we went out and excessive alcohol does some very strange things to some people. To make a very long story as short as possible let's just say one of the girls wanted to bring this weirdo scary guy back to our house late night and I wanted no part of it. I have had it with this crap. We are 40 years old now, I am married with a kid to think about. I cant have some creep hanging around in the house I rented and put a security deposit on. So I refused to drive him back to the house. It got ugly. He finally got out of the car and then it got uglier. I got in a bad fight with the girl who wanted to have him over and ended up going to get my stuff and storming out. I drove home and got home at 2:45am. I almost fell asleep a few times and it was awful. I was and am so upset about the entire drama. I feel like its a nightmare and I am going to wake up soon. But unfortunately it happened and I know that one of the "friendships" is definitely over. I hope to salvage the other one but it will take time and I am not sure, as I have definitely drifted from that person as well. The 2 girls are single, and we have never really had a big problem staying connected since I got married. I dont see them that often, but when we do it involved alot of eating and drinking. Now that those things dont interest me, and cant be on my agenda, i feel that we have nothing in common.
It was funny to live like that in my 20's and even in my 30's- they pulled the same exact thing at my bachelorette party come to think of it and that was a scene too. In fact I dont know if I have every been out with this one particular person and not had a drama to deal with. Its exhausting and the friendship is draining my energy. That cant be a good thing- so I am done. I have too many great friends to waste time on people who dont respect me. I think you just outgrow people sometimes, and while it is sad, especially when you have alot of history and many good times, you have to know when to let go.
So I am happy to be back home with the boys. No sleeping in, spa, shopping or vegging out for me, but i'd rather be home with the people who love me then putting up with that nonsense. My family and personal safety come first...I stand by my decision, even though I know they are bad mouthing me and making fun of me for being nervous about it.
I'll be able to go to a birthday party with Nick and Lew today at a farm so that will be great. It's funny, you think you cant wait to get away and escape your life, and then you realize, you were already in the perfect place. Maybe it took this drama to show me that.
I came across this blog by author Taylor Horak while thinking about this today...it made me feel better because I think alot of people go through this...and it is very painful, but normal.
"When you lose someone, it sometimes feels like you've lost part of yourself as well. Many people, especially younger ones, feel defined by their peers, and even more so by their intimate friends. By becoming close to anyone, you put yourself at risk, you make yourself vulnerable. You open up facets of your being that even you might not see to scrutiny. You allow others to tell you who you are, to help mold you. You become someone new with them. Some people act differently around different people, almost as if these different groups are outlets for different characteristics in them. But when that outlet is gone, you're left with a void, a missing facet of your personality. The friends I've lost have left such holes in me, wounds that can never be completely healed. No one can touch you, shape you, or understand you as much as an intimate friend can. Losing someone so close can cause damage, can shut you off to other possibilities. That's why outgrowing a friend is truly a harsh, and defining moment in a person's life. You're not only outgrowing them, you're out growing part of yourself as well."
It was funny to live like that in my 20's and even in my 30's- they pulled the same exact thing at my bachelorette party come to think of it and that was a scene too. In fact I dont know if I have every been out with this one particular person and not had a drama to deal with. Its exhausting and the friendship is draining my energy. That cant be a good thing- so I am done. I have too many great friends to waste time on people who dont respect me. I think you just outgrow people sometimes, and while it is sad, especially when you have alot of history and many good times, you have to know when to let go.
So I am happy to be back home with the boys. No sleeping in, spa, shopping or vegging out for me, but i'd rather be home with the people who love me then putting up with that nonsense. My family and personal safety come first...I stand by my decision, even though I know they are bad mouthing me and making fun of me for being nervous about it.
I'll be able to go to a birthday party with Nick and Lew today at a farm so that will be great. It's funny, you think you cant wait to get away and escape your life, and then you realize, you were already in the perfect place. Maybe it took this drama to show me that.
I came across this blog by author Taylor Horak while thinking about this today...it made me feel better because I think alot of people go through this...and it is very painful, but normal.
"When you lose someone, it sometimes feels like you've lost part of yourself as well. Many people, especially younger ones, feel defined by their peers, and even more so by their intimate friends. By becoming close to anyone, you put yourself at risk, you make yourself vulnerable. You open up facets of your being that even you might not see to scrutiny. You allow others to tell you who you are, to help mold you. You become someone new with them. Some people act differently around different people, almost as if these different groups are outlets for different characteristics in them. But when that outlet is gone, you're left with a void, a missing facet of your personality. The friends I've lost have left such holes in me, wounds that can never be completely healed. No one can touch you, shape you, or understand you as much as an intimate friend can. Losing someone so close can cause damage, can shut you off to other possibilities. That's why outgrowing a friend is truly a harsh, and defining moment in a person's life. You're not only outgrowing them, you're out growing part of yourself as well."
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Scary Sugar Scene
So I am sitting here eating a small piece of heavenly cheesecake with graham cracker crust, topped with Stonewall Kitchen blueberry jam and sipping the most amazing cup of coffee I think I have ever had. Is it time to wake up? Am I dreaming? Will I be pushing 300 pounds when my eyes open? God say it isn't so.
No it's really happening, and I cant believe this crazy journey I am on and how different every single day is. I made the cheesecake with splenda and the jam is no sugar added- so its all legal though it tastes very sinful. It is so delicious- it's nirvana. We ordered some new K-cups for the Keurig and I am having Donut Shop Coffee by the Coffee People, and there are no words for its perfection. If you are only going to have one small cup a day- it better be worthy.
So I've decided that gastric bypass surgery is much like parenting. Every time you think you have it figured out- something changes and you have to start from scratch again. Take the Halloween party meatball debacle for example. The very next day I was ravenous- rare for me as I usually have to remind myself to eat. So I started out strong- getting in all my water and protein- good stuff. But later that afternoon I had a run in with a couple of old friends/lovers that I hadn't seen in awhile. I ran into sugar first...and next thing you know, white flour and I were rendevouzing and it was quite a revelation. I had always believe deep down that I was addicted to sugar and flour...the one diet program i never tried was Overeaters Anonymous and I think the reason is that I was terrified to give them up. I know that is the basis for the OA program and it probably would have worked for me- short term anyway. But I was a little leery of the "higher power" aspect of the program.
I know some who have had great success with it and I think its wonderful for the right person.
Anyway Nick and I went on one of our Whole Foods field trips- always dangerous. If I were a millionaire that's one of the first things I would do- be a regular at Whole Foods. But since that is far from the case, I try to limit myself to once a month max because I can not enter that organic temple without spending $50 minimum and I usually have 1 bag of food to show for it that doesn't last more than a day or 2. It's truly outrageous- but worth every penny!
Nick lives for the stinky cheese samples- the kid is a serious cheese connosseur. I wonder if Fromaggio Kitchen is still open in Cambridge? I have to bring him there. No matter how strong the cheese he loves it. Woofs it down....and then demands a hunk for home. Of course it's usually about $10 for a tiny piece of some imported artisan cheese with a name I can't pronounce- but anything for the kid right?
So we make our rounds, cheese samples, apple cider, fruit samples, a few bites from the antipasto bar, soup samples, fresh baked bread with organic butter and a few mini cookies. All free- its the best deal in town if you are post op! I had a complete meal and then some! Then it's time for lunch- for Nick. He gets his slice of wood oven pizza, a chicken tender, scoop of mac and cheese and a scoop of butternut squash. Its usually mostly for dinner after his sample fest. I pick up my favorite gluten free items and some Smart Life meat free pepperoni and bacon - so amazing- Lew doesn't even know the difference. Then we head for the customer service desk where they have a special treat bucket for the kids- Nick gets a free juice box and gold fish crackers. That's when I spot my old flame, Lake Champlain chocolate squares. Hands down my favorite chocolate. So at the risk of jinxing myself I have not to this point or to my knowledge dumped on sugar. From what I hear from others, I would know it. So I decide I will have a small square just for old times sake.
When we got to the car I took out my little treasure, and I felt just like Charlie from the Chocolate Factory, slowly unwrapping my little treat...which happened to come wrapped in shiny gold foil. It was pure pleasure that little taste of heaven...perfect. I was so satisfied with that little bite and thought how nice it was to really enjoy a taste and not want or need more. It was wonderful feeling so virtuous and 'normal' and it lasted the whole way home (10 minutes). That's when the old demons decided to come out to play. It turns out this surgery does not cure all and there is still much work to be done....despite the best medicine has to offer.
At this point I was full, satisfied and done eating. But I got in the door and the old chemical reactions kicked in. I truly believe in that theory now because I was like a drug addict looking for more and I didnt care how I got it. I found a lemon meringue pie in the fridge and ate about a half slice of that....then I hit the frosted sugar cookies left over from the party. I ate about half of a big Frankenstein before I realized what I was doing and freaked. I figured if ever I was going to dump- this would be it - and I was terrified. For those who dont know- dumping is a common side effect for post ops. It happens when you consume too much sugar or fat and your body can't process it. I thought I expeienced a mild version of it once right after surgary when I ate a sugar free pudding with too much sugar alcohol...but I am not sure. Basically you get like a diabetic reaction- fast heartbeat, shakes, sweats, dizzy, and some say you feel like you are going to have a heart attack. Sounds lovey right? Miraculously I did not have any reaction at all after eating all that crap- which kind of bummed me out in a weird way. I wanted to be punished for veering off my plan, to make sure I dont do it again, because I still feel like I cant trust myself to stay on track.
It is so frustrating to not be able to eat an egg or meatballs or healthy protein rich items that I want to have, but to be able to eat sugar and junk. That is where the challenge lies and I understand why so many people have a hard time the further they get from surgery. So I have been fine since that sugar side trip...I didnt like the way I felt, buzzed then tired and gross. I remember that feelng all too well and I do not miss it. But it was a reminder of how easy it would be to make bad choices and regress to a place I never want to be again.
It's been a good week overall, had some yummy gyro chicken from this Greek place I love near work over a salad and no problems...it lasted 4 meals but it was great!
Been working alot but I need the money so that's good. Might check out the Head of the Charles today and then we are going to Boo at the Stone Zoo tomorrow for a Halloween party and costume contest with our neighbors. Nick's Cha Cha costume is adorable- my mother in law did an amazing job- cant wait to see him in it! I have to figure out how to post pictures on this site. I'll ask the resident expert.
Thought for the day courtesty of Tom Petty
"I'm learning to fly, but I aint got wings. Coming down, is the hardest thing.
Some say life will beat you down, break your heart, steal your crown. I started out God knows where, but I guess I'll know when I get there."
No it's really happening, and I cant believe this crazy journey I am on and how different every single day is. I made the cheesecake with splenda and the jam is no sugar added- so its all legal though it tastes very sinful. It is so delicious- it's nirvana. We ordered some new K-cups for the Keurig and I am having Donut Shop Coffee by the Coffee People, and there are no words for its perfection. If you are only going to have one small cup a day- it better be worthy.
So I've decided that gastric bypass surgery is much like parenting. Every time you think you have it figured out- something changes and you have to start from scratch again. Take the Halloween party meatball debacle for example. The very next day I was ravenous- rare for me as I usually have to remind myself to eat. So I started out strong- getting in all my water and protein- good stuff. But later that afternoon I had a run in with a couple of old friends/lovers that I hadn't seen in awhile. I ran into sugar first...and next thing you know, white flour and I were rendevouzing and it was quite a revelation. I had always believe deep down that I was addicted to sugar and flour...the one diet program i never tried was Overeaters Anonymous and I think the reason is that I was terrified to give them up. I know that is the basis for the OA program and it probably would have worked for me- short term anyway. But I was a little leery of the "higher power" aspect of the program.
I know some who have had great success with it and I think its wonderful for the right person.
Anyway Nick and I went on one of our Whole Foods field trips- always dangerous. If I were a millionaire that's one of the first things I would do- be a regular at Whole Foods. But since that is far from the case, I try to limit myself to once a month max because I can not enter that organic temple without spending $50 minimum and I usually have 1 bag of food to show for it that doesn't last more than a day or 2. It's truly outrageous- but worth every penny!
Nick lives for the stinky cheese samples- the kid is a serious cheese connosseur. I wonder if Fromaggio Kitchen is still open in Cambridge? I have to bring him there. No matter how strong the cheese he loves it. Woofs it down....and then demands a hunk for home. Of course it's usually about $10 for a tiny piece of some imported artisan cheese with a name I can't pronounce- but anything for the kid right?
So we make our rounds, cheese samples, apple cider, fruit samples, a few bites from the antipasto bar, soup samples, fresh baked bread with organic butter and a few mini cookies. All free- its the best deal in town if you are post op! I had a complete meal and then some! Then it's time for lunch- for Nick. He gets his slice of wood oven pizza, a chicken tender, scoop of mac and cheese and a scoop of butternut squash. Its usually mostly for dinner after his sample fest. I pick up my favorite gluten free items and some Smart Life meat free pepperoni and bacon - so amazing- Lew doesn't even know the difference. Then we head for the customer service desk where they have a special treat bucket for the kids- Nick gets a free juice box and gold fish crackers. That's when I spot my old flame, Lake Champlain chocolate squares. Hands down my favorite chocolate. So at the risk of jinxing myself I have not to this point or to my knowledge dumped on sugar. From what I hear from others, I would know it. So I decide I will have a small square just for old times sake.
When we got to the car I took out my little treasure, and I felt just like Charlie from the Chocolate Factory, slowly unwrapping my little treat...which happened to come wrapped in shiny gold foil. It was pure pleasure that little taste of heaven...perfect. I was so satisfied with that little bite and thought how nice it was to really enjoy a taste and not want or need more. It was wonderful feeling so virtuous and 'normal' and it lasted the whole way home (10 minutes). That's when the old demons decided to come out to play. It turns out this surgery does not cure all and there is still much work to be done....despite the best medicine has to offer.
At this point I was full, satisfied and done eating. But I got in the door and the old chemical reactions kicked in. I truly believe in that theory now because I was like a drug addict looking for more and I didnt care how I got it. I found a lemon meringue pie in the fridge and ate about a half slice of that....then I hit the frosted sugar cookies left over from the party. I ate about half of a big Frankenstein before I realized what I was doing and freaked. I figured if ever I was going to dump- this would be it - and I was terrified. For those who dont know- dumping is a common side effect for post ops. It happens when you consume too much sugar or fat and your body can't process it. I thought I expeienced a mild version of it once right after surgary when I ate a sugar free pudding with too much sugar alcohol...but I am not sure. Basically you get like a diabetic reaction- fast heartbeat, shakes, sweats, dizzy, and some say you feel like you are going to have a heart attack. Sounds lovey right? Miraculously I did not have any reaction at all after eating all that crap- which kind of bummed me out in a weird way. I wanted to be punished for veering off my plan, to make sure I dont do it again, because I still feel like I cant trust myself to stay on track.
It is so frustrating to not be able to eat an egg or meatballs or healthy protein rich items that I want to have, but to be able to eat sugar and junk. That is where the challenge lies and I understand why so many people have a hard time the further they get from surgery. So I have been fine since that sugar side trip...I didnt like the way I felt, buzzed then tired and gross. I remember that feelng all too well and I do not miss it. But it was a reminder of how easy it would be to make bad choices and regress to a place I never want to be again.
It's been a good week overall, had some yummy gyro chicken from this Greek place I love near work over a salad and no problems...it lasted 4 meals but it was great!
Been working alot but I need the money so that's good. Might check out the Head of the Charles today and then we are going to Boo at the Stone Zoo tomorrow for a Halloween party and costume contest with our neighbors. Nick's Cha Cha costume is adorable- my mother in law did an amazing job- cant wait to see him in it! I have to figure out how to post pictures on this site. I'll ask the resident expert.
Thought for the day courtesty of Tom Petty
"I'm learning to fly, but I aint got wings. Coming down, is the hardest thing.
Some say life will beat you down, break your heart, steal your crown. I started out God knows where, but I guess I'll know when I get there."
Monday, October 13, 2008
Wonderland- 5 months post op
So rather than elaborate about how another month has passed without a blog entry- I will just get to the headlines. No time for excuses!
I was 5 months post op yesterday and there is much to report. I'll get to the good stuff first to try and remind myself how far I have come. I am down 93 pounds and have joined the club known to post ops as "Wonderland." It basically means you are finally out of the 200's and back in the one hundreds on the scale. It's been a very long time for me so that was a big moment. I have to do a measurements check- so not sure bout that right now. But I have gone down more sizes since I last checked in...and while this is of course great- some of my new clothes that I bought just a few months ago are already too big and that is crazy!
I am enjoying tons of compliments at work and sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. It's like all of a sudden everyone is noticing and they are stunned. I have told most of my friends and coworkers but there are some I dont know well enough so I just say thanks and try to escape!
I am feeling good most of the time and really enjoying my freedom...just moving around so easily and not feeling so tired and gross all the time.
We went to Storyland last weekend and it was so great going on all the rides again with Nick. Not worrying about not fitting and stuff like that. I know last summer I would not have been able to go on the rides- so that was huge.
Now for the not so great stuff. I am still really struggling with my food choices. I am so limited and I cant believe it has lasted this long. I feel very frustrated and scared that this is not going to change. Every time I try something new and it is a success- the next time I try it- it makes me sick- same old story. I am so tired of protein bars and still cant do the shakes. I did ok with grilled chicken and chicken salad for a few weeks and i was so happy about that. But the last few times I had it-I got sick. I find that if i dont make it myself and completely control it- I get sick. Even if it looks grilled and healthy.
We had a Halloween party for the neighborhood kids yesterday and I had 1 lousy mini meatball and was sick for the entire day. It ruined the party for me and it was awful. I was so mad about it. I feel like its nuts that i cant handle that by this point. Will I ever be able to eat red meat again? I was in pain all through the party and tried to ignore it- I was so busy keeping things going. I tried to throw up but couldnt until about 4 hours later when I finally did. I felt better after but I was so drained- I lost the entire day so only had about 10 ounces of water all day and about the same for protein.
Now to the hairy scary hair situation. I am losing hair like crazy- and I mean huge clumps every day in the shower. I remember reading a book pre-op and there was a chapter called "build your own kitty kit." Now I know why. Thank god I started out with a ton of hair, so I hope no one knows but me, but man it's getting dicey. It's been going on for about a full month...and I dont know how long it will last. They say to up your protein and get some special shampoo. I have trouble just getting in my 60 ounces of protein now...but I am trying. I have to find the shampoo too.
I dont think I wrote about the new support group I attended. It's a smaller post op gathering at Winchester Hospital and we had our first mtg last month. It was really good and I look forward to meeting more people at the next one. It is so much better than the general one I go to every month because everyone has already had the surgery so we can really talk about some of the more specific things we are dealing with.
I got a really nice email from someone who stumbled upon my blog that made my day.
She called me an inspiration and that is just incredible to me! So thank you Charlotte for inspiring me to get back to blogging, because it really helps me to keep things in perspective. You reminded me that the number one reason I did this was for Nick, and that has been a total success...because I know I am a healther mom and can keep up with him now. I know he won't be embarrassed of me like I so feared 93 pounds ago, and I know I can go on the rides with him, play tag, or do whatever else comes our way. So for that I am grateful.
I was 5 months post op yesterday and there is much to report. I'll get to the good stuff first to try and remind myself how far I have come. I am down 93 pounds and have joined the club known to post ops as "Wonderland." It basically means you are finally out of the 200's and back in the one hundreds on the scale. It's been a very long time for me so that was a big moment. I have to do a measurements check- so not sure bout that right now. But I have gone down more sizes since I last checked in...and while this is of course great- some of my new clothes that I bought just a few months ago are already too big and that is crazy!
I am enjoying tons of compliments at work and sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. It's like all of a sudden everyone is noticing and they are stunned. I have told most of my friends and coworkers but there are some I dont know well enough so I just say thanks and try to escape!
I am feeling good most of the time and really enjoying my freedom...just moving around so easily and not feeling so tired and gross all the time.
We went to Storyland last weekend and it was so great going on all the rides again with Nick. Not worrying about not fitting and stuff like that. I know last summer I would not have been able to go on the rides- so that was huge.
Now for the not so great stuff. I am still really struggling with my food choices. I am so limited and I cant believe it has lasted this long. I feel very frustrated and scared that this is not going to change. Every time I try something new and it is a success- the next time I try it- it makes me sick- same old story. I am so tired of protein bars and still cant do the shakes. I did ok with grilled chicken and chicken salad for a few weeks and i was so happy about that. But the last few times I had it-I got sick. I find that if i dont make it myself and completely control it- I get sick. Even if it looks grilled and healthy.
We had a Halloween party for the neighborhood kids yesterday and I had 1 lousy mini meatball and was sick for the entire day. It ruined the party for me and it was awful. I was so mad about it. I feel like its nuts that i cant handle that by this point. Will I ever be able to eat red meat again? I was in pain all through the party and tried to ignore it- I was so busy keeping things going. I tried to throw up but couldnt until about 4 hours later when I finally did. I felt better after but I was so drained- I lost the entire day so only had about 10 ounces of water all day and about the same for protein.
Now to the hairy scary hair situation. I am losing hair like crazy- and I mean huge clumps every day in the shower. I remember reading a book pre-op and there was a chapter called "build your own kitty kit." Now I know why. Thank god I started out with a ton of hair, so I hope no one knows but me, but man it's getting dicey. It's been going on for about a full month...and I dont know how long it will last. They say to up your protein and get some special shampoo. I have trouble just getting in my 60 ounces of protein now...but I am trying. I have to find the shampoo too.
I dont think I wrote about the new support group I attended. It's a smaller post op gathering at Winchester Hospital and we had our first mtg last month. It was really good and I look forward to meeting more people at the next one. It is so much better than the general one I go to every month because everyone has already had the surgery so we can really talk about some of the more specific things we are dealing with.
I got a really nice email from someone who stumbled upon my blog that made my day.
She called me an inspiration and that is just incredible to me! So thank you Charlotte for inspiring me to get back to blogging, because it really helps me to keep things in perspective. You reminded me that the number one reason I did this was for Nick, and that has been a total success...because I know I am a healther mom and can keep up with him now. I know he won't be embarrassed of me like I so feared 93 pounds ago, and I know I can go on the rides with him, play tag, or do whatever else comes our way. So for that I am grateful.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Little China Girl
4 Months Post Op today. It seems like it's been so much longer but I can not believe how far I have come. I am down 85 pounds total today since the start of my journey.
I am down 48 inches total and my BMI has gone from 48 to 33. I am no longer morbidly obese, my sleep apnea is gone and I feel great. I am having a blood test this week so I will be anxious to see my sugars and cholesterol levels as I am sure they are markedly improved. It has been a difficult road to this point and I still have a way to go. I would like to lose another 30 pounds to so and see how I feel at that weight. I never thought it would come off this fast.
So in case I start feeling a bit too comfortable in my new (saggy) skin, I had a reality check last night. Nick started school yesterday and did great. I was a nervous wreck because when we went to orientation together on Tuesday he was not a happy camper. He cried a little and clung to me and kept saying he didnt want to go.
But we had a play date the next morning with one of the kids in his class and they really hit it off and I think that made all the difference. So when he went to school he saw a familiar face and was all excited to "help Ryan." We told him he had to show Ryan around because it was his first year. So I could not believe it, he was totally fine, didnt cry and had a ball. What a relief! I started bawling in the car which was very surprising. I was so relieved that he didnt cry but then i was like- oh he's such a big boy and he doesnt need me! Silly I know:)
Anyway to the point of the story....Nick decided he wanted "steak on a stick" for his first day of school celebration dinner so we went out to Bamboo- our favorite chinese/sushi place. I haven't been there for 6 months but I was feeling frisky so I decided I would try a few things. BAD CALL. I had 1 bite of the steak, 1 bite of a sparerib, and 1 bite of a crab rangoon...in about 20 mins time. First of all I have never tried steak or pork post op so that was just such a dumb thing to do. I know to only try 1 new food at a time, never mind the sugary sauce they dump on everything. I had to leave the restaurant while the guys finished up and I tried to walk it off in the parking lot. That did not help. Lew had to pull over on the way home and I tried to get sick but couldnt. I was in agony for 3 hours before I finally threw up the 3 bites around 9pm. I was wiped. What a stupid mistake.
So I am still a rooky and still trying to figure all this out. The good new is I woke up starving and tried some oatmeal and it was great. So I am feeling much better and I have a new breakfast item to eat since mornings are tough for me with not alot of choices. I am whipping up a new protein icecream as we speal- mint cookies and cream- so i hope its good. I have to work today so i'll prob swing by the soup factory- cant break that habit on work days.
Ok Nick wants the computer so I am being evicted. Hope everyone has a healthy weekend.
I am down 48 inches total and my BMI has gone from 48 to 33. I am no longer morbidly obese, my sleep apnea is gone and I feel great. I am having a blood test this week so I will be anxious to see my sugars and cholesterol levels as I am sure they are markedly improved. It has been a difficult road to this point and I still have a way to go. I would like to lose another 30 pounds to so and see how I feel at that weight. I never thought it would come off this fast.
So in case I start feeling a bit too comfortable in my new (saggy) skin, I had a reality check last night. Nick started school yesterday and did great. I was a nervous wreck because when we went to orientation together on Tuesday he was not a happy camper. He cried a little and clung to me and kept saying he didnt want to go.
But we had a play date the next morning with one of the kids in his class and they really hit it off and I think that made all the difference. So when he went to school he saw a familiar face and was all excited to "help Ryan." We told him he had to show Ryan around because it was his first year. So I could not believe it, he was totally fine, didnt cry and had a ball. What a relief! I started bawling in the car which was very surprising. I was so relieved that he didnt cry but then i was like- oh he's such a big boy and he doesnt need me! Silly I know:)
Anyway to the point of the story....Nick decided he wanted "steak on a stick" for his first day of school celebration dinner so we went out to Bamboo- our favorite chinese/sushi place. I haven't been there for 6 months but I was feeling frisky so I decided I would try a few things. BAD CALL. I had 1 bite of the steak, 1 bite of a sparerib, and 1 bite of a crab rangoon...in about 20 mins time. First of all I have never tried steak or pork post op so that was just such a dumb thing to do. I know to only try 1 new food at a time, never mind the sugary sauce they dump on everything. I had to leave the restaurant while the guys finished up and I tried to walk it off in the parking lot. That did not help. Lew had to pull over on the way home and I tried to get sick but couldnt. I was in agony for 3 hours before I finally threw up the 3 bites around 9pm. I was wiped. What a stupid mistake.
So I am still a rooky and still trying to figure all this out. The good new is I woke up starving and tried some oatmeal and it was great. So I am feeling much better and I have a new breakfast item to eat since mornings are tough for me with not alot of choices. I am whipping up a new protein icecream as we speal- mint cookies and cream- so i hope its good. I have to work today so i'll prob swing by the soup factory- cant break that habit on work days.
Ok Nick wants the computer so I am being evicted. Hope everyone has a healthy weekend.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Baby Steps
Well I had a setback but overall I think the weekend was a success in the "try new things department." I went a little crazy at Whole Foods yesterday and tried too many things and it backfired. I think it may have been the sweet and sour tofu I sampled...things went seriously down hill after that. I love that place...I can make the rounds and have a few samples and I am stuffed! I save a fortune! haha!
Anyway I had a few bites of grilled salmon and this amazing olive tapenade with goat feta sprinkled on top. I was fine until I had a bite of that tofu. I knew it was going to be bad. I dont think its a good thing but I have figured out how to deal with this as it has become second nature. So I just force myself to get sick and get it over with rather than endure the torturous pain and agony of the 3 hour drama to get rid of it. I felt totally fine right after. So after that the day was a bit of a bust since I stuck to water. I was afraid to get sick before going into work to do my overnight shift. But today was great and I had some great proteins.
Here's what I tried this weekend:
-Fage peanutbutter dip- yummy yesterday- today it made me gag- tossed it.
-Olive tapenade with goat feta on a thin cracker- to die for- bought all 3 products at Whole Foods- being the sample sucker that I am.
-Salmon- too fishy for me- but at least I tried it- didnt think I liked it- now I know.
-Sweet and sour tofu- disgusting and pretty sure it made me hurl
-Frappacino protein shake- tried to take a sip but the smell made me queasy- couldnt do it. Still cant handle the shakes- totally surprises me.
-DRUMROLL PLEASE- Whole foods chicken salad on couple crackers. SO GOOD and NO PROBLEMS. I still cant believe it. I have been terrified to try chicken after hearing so many horror stories.
-Cheese and brushetta tortilla pizza- had 2 slices out of 8- so good! Lew loved it. This is our new pizza fix- no more take out and big greasy pizza with thick crust.
-Healthy Ones Kielbasa with roasted red peppers and garlic- great recipe from one of the girls at the support group- it was delicious and so high in protein. Lew loved it too.
So I think I made some serious progress and I am very happy I tried some new things.
Also I forced myself to drink plain water today and it was ok. I am so sick of propel and crystal lite and all that splenda and the calories are adding up. The plain water doesnt go down as well or as fast but I am going to keep trying. I have been on propel and crystal lite for 4 months- its breaking the bank!
Ok gotta get some shut eye- I never really slept before going in last night and then just took an hour nap this morning. I have a feeling I am going to be hurting tomorrow. Nick fell asleep on the couch at 6:30pm so its gonna be an early morning.
Must have been all the excitement from the new Chuck E Cheeses this morning and the Big Truck Day at the common this afternoon:)
Anyway I had a few bites of grilled salmon and this amazing olive tapenade with goat feta sprinkled on top. I was fine until I had a bite of that tofu. I knew it was going to be bad. I dont think its a good thing but I have figured out how to deal with this as it has become second nature. So I just force myself to get sick and get it over with rather than endure the torturous pain and agony of the 3 hour drama to get rid of it. I felt totally fine right after. So after that the day was a bit of a bust since I stuck to water. I was afraid to get sick before going into work to do my overnight shift. But today was great and I had some great proteins.
Here's what I tried this weekend:
-Fage peanutbutter dip- yummy yesterday- today it made me gag- tossed it.
-Olive tapenade with goat feta on a thin cracker- to die for- bought all 3 products at Whole Foods- being the sample sucker that I am.
-Salmon- too fishy for me- but at least I tried it- didnt think I liked it- now I know.
-Sweet and sour tofu- disgusting and pretty sure it made me hurl
-Frappacino protein shake- tried to take a sip but the smell made me queasy- couldnt do it. Still cant handle the shakes- totally surprises me.
-DRUMROLL PLEASE- Whole foods chicken salad on couple crackers. SO GOOD and NO PROBLEMS. I still cant believe it. I have been terrified to try chicken after hearing so many horror stories.
-Cheese and brushetta tortilla pizza- had 2 slices out of 8- so good! Lew loved it. This is our new pizza fix- no more take out and big greasy pizza with thick crust.
-Healthy Ones Kielbasa with roasted red peppers and garlic- great recipe from one of the girls at the support group- it was delicious and so high in protein. Lew loved it too.
So I think I made some serious progress and I am very happy I tried some new things.
Also I forced myself to drink plain water today and it was ok. I am so sick of propel and crystal lite and all that splenda and the calories are adding up. The plain water doesnt go down as well or as fast but I am going to keep trying. I have been on propel and crystal lite for 4 months- its breaking the bank!
Ok gotta get some shut eye- I never really slept before going in last night and then just took an hour nap this morning. I have a feeling I am going to be hurting tomorrow. Nick fell asleep on the couch at 6:30pm so its gonna be an early morning.
Must have been all the excitement from the new Chuck E Cheeses this morning and the Big Truck Day at the common this afternoon:)
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Protein Safari
So I am hitting it hard today. Trying to move past my fears and try some new stuff. I am in soup purgatory and I must break out. I love my soup but it has become my crutch and it is not protein rich. I have to get more protein in.
Thank god for my eggface and her recipes. This woman should be sainted. If you are trying to lose a few and or stick to a lower carb lower sugar diet- check her website out- she has amazing ideas for everyone- not just post ops.
The post op diet is really just a South Beach diet when it comes right down to it.
http://www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/
If you scroll down on the left you'll see quick links to her recipes.
So far today I made a yummy Fage yogurt peanutbutter dip and had it with a few slices apples and bananas. It was really good but so filling I didnt get in as much protein as I would have liked. I will try and finish the dip later today with some of my caramel mini rice cakes. Just made a batch of lemon meringue pie protein icecream so I have a few servings in the freezer for the weekend. Now the big challenge- to try some kind of meat main dish later today. I am terrified. I might do tuna over a salad or some turkey meatballs. If I chicken out I have some morningstar farms meatless chicken strips I could try. Right now I am feeling nervous because the apples are coming back to haunt me. I had about a quarter of a small apple and now i dont feel so good. RATS
Anyway where is this Hanna they promised? The sun is shining and I promised Nick we could do all his favorite rainy day activiies that he bugs me to do when its sunny and I dont want to be inside. The minute he got up he said ok mom today we get to go to Imajination, Chuck E Cheeses, Rainforest Cafe and Jordans! Now what I am supposed to say?!!!! When I come back for my second life I want to be a weather man because it's the only job I know of where you get paid to be wrong pretty much every day!
Ok we're off to the damn mall- maybe I can sneak off to Lands End where I am scoping out some cute fall stuff. Gotta get me this adorable orange and chocolate brown tote bag I have been eyeing. Hey I deserve it- I have to work tonite from 12:30-7:30am- I am getting paid double time so I said I would do it for special storm coverage. Hopefully there wont be a storm so I will just try and stay awake. Wish me luck.
Thank god for my eggface and her recipes. This woman should be sainted. If you are trying to lose a few and or stick to a lower carb lower sugar diet- check her website out- she has amazing ideas for everyone- not just post ops.
The post op diet is really just a South Beach diet when it comes right down to it.
http://www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/
If you scroll down on the left you'll see quick links to her recipes.
So far today I made a yummy Fage yogurt peanutbutter dip and had it with a few slices apples and bananas. It was really good but so filling I didnt get in as much protein as I would have liked. I will try and finish the dip later today with some of my caramel mini rice cakes. Just made a batch of lemon meringue pie protein icecream so I have a few servings in the freezer for the weekend. Now the big challenge- to try some kind of meat main dish later today. I am terrified. I might do tuna over a salad or some turkey meatballs. If I chicken out I have some morningstar farms meatless chicken strips I could try. Right now I am feeling nervous because the apples are coming back to haunt me. I had about a quarter of a small apple and now i dont feel so good. RATS
Anyway where is this Hanna they promised? The sun is shining and I promised Nick we could do all his favorite rainy day activiies that he bugs me to do when its sunny and I dont want to be inside. The minute he got up he said ok mom today we get to go to Imajination, Chuck E Cheeses, Rainforest Cafe and Jordans! Now what I am supposed to say?!!!! When I come back for my second life I want to be a weather man because it's the only job I know of where you get paid to be wrong pretty much every day!
Ok we're off to the damn mall- maybe I can sneak off to Lands End where I am scoping out some cute fall stuff. Gotta get me this adorable orange and chocolate brown tote bag I have been eyeing. Hey I deserve it- I have to work tonite from 12:30-7:30am- I am getting paid double time so I said I would do it for special storm coverage. Hopefully there wont be a storm so I will just try and stay awake. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Lobster Wine and the White Mountains
Well I have been a very bad little blogger. I have recieved a few complaints about my lack of postings and I digress. I have returned to the work force on a more permanent basis, so that is definitely contributing to my blog slacking. I promise to try and step it up!
Things have been going really well...overall. I hit 80 pounds today- just shy of 4 months post op. I will have to check my measurements on my 4 month anniversary in a few weeks. The weight loss has slowed down quite a bit though, so I am trying not to worry about it too much. My addiction to Oh Yeah peanutbutter cup protein bars could have something to do with this- but I hope not. I only have 1 a day but I feel like I am cheating every time. They are better than a twix bar! Seriously- pick one up at your nearest GNC or Vitamin Shop- you wont regret it! Loaded with protein and very low sugar.
As I was trying to think of a headline for this post, 3 things came to mind. We'll start with the lobster. Had Dan and family over for a pool party bbq and lobsters last weekend. We had so much fun. It was a beautiful day and so relaxing. I was so excited to try lobster and it was soooooo good. I thought I was ok but about an hour later I started getting that feeling. It wasn't pretty. It was a rough 4 hours- until I finally got rid of the 4 small bites that I had. It still boggles my mind.
It was a rough weekend because the night before I had a piece of cooked broccoli and got really sick from that too. Come to find out- broccoli is very hard to digest and one of the things to stay away from post-op. Who knew? I wish I had.
So I was very frustrated going into last week. Back to my scaredy cat basics. Everytime I have a set back like this I just go to yogurt, soup and protein icecream until I get the courage to try something again. Luckily I was feeling good by the time we left for the White Mountains for Labor Day weekend.
What an amazing time we had...we stay at the Mt View Grand and it is our absolute favorite family place. Nick had the time of his life and so did we. They have so much for kids to do. Nick loved visiting the baby animals in the petting barn, swimming in the indoor and outdoor pools, playing at the playground, watching Cars and Madagascar in the hotel movie theatre, and having afternoon apps and drinks on the porch. Every night they had a big campfire and we toasted marshmallows and made smores. It was just great.
We went to Santa's Village and Nick loved it- he went on all the rides and loved the rollercoaster so much he wouldnt get off! We had to take turns going on it over and over again with him! My inlaws were troopers- -even they went on it! It was pretty fast I must say!
Lew and I went mountain biking and ended up doing an 8 mile ride with major hills- I was dying at the end but feeling great that I was able to accomplish it. I would not have even gotten on a bike 80 pound ago that's for sure.
Instead of getting a spa treatment I worked out with the personal trainer there and got some great tips for doing toning at home with a resistance band. I also did a few water aerobics classes in the outdoor pool early morning and it was a glorious way to start the day.
Ran into some friends from highschool up there, Scot and Trisha Poitras. That was kind of funny. It was great to see them, but unfortunately they told us to go to the Lancaster Fair and that was a big waste of time and money! What a dump that was- $50 for all of us to get in and it was red neck city let me tell you. I think we lasted 20 minutes....it was creepy carni city.
Anyway overall it was a very good food weekend. It was my first experience away so I definitely learned that I should have been more prepared for next time. But I also intentionally did not overdo it with my bars and snacks because I wanted to challenge myself to try some new things while I was up there. The first night was the best, I had a few bites of my mother in laws eggplant rollatini which was amazing. I have to make that. It was sans pasta so perfect for me. I also had a cup of carrot ginger soup that was to die for. I had 1 bite of a loaded potato skin but that was a bit heavy. The next night was a big tough, I was starving for dinner because we had a tough time getting Nick to bed so Lew and I finally went to eat around 9pm. I made the very bad choice to eat a few bites of bread while waiting for my soup and then I couldnt eat the soup because I wasn't feeling good from the bread.
I ended up feeling lousy that night and had the foamies bad but I didnt throw up so that was good.
The big news is I tried my first drink since April and it was fine! I am glad I got it out of my system though because it didnt really do much for me. So I dont think I am missing much but it's nice to know I can have a glass if I want to.
On the way home we stopped in Littleton to take Nick to Chutters- his favorite huge candy store. I was so happy my favorite jewelry store was open- it was closed last time after a car plowed into the front of it. They renovated and it is better than ever. So I treated myself to 2 necklaces and they are gorgeous. Check out Sterling Works on Main st if you are up there- you will love it!
So overall I am feeling great and starting to exercise more although it's been tough with my new work schedule. Nick starts school next week so 2 mornings a week I will be able to hit it hard. I am still nervous about eating too many things and I wish I could have more variety especially fruits and veggies but I haven't been too brave about trying. Now that I work M-W-F I cant afford to try anything crazy on those days because I cant get sick at work. Maybe this weekend I will try a salad with these morningstar farms fake chicken strips I bought. I might get crazy who knows!?
It was tough a few times this weekend seeing all the amazing food and I really wanted stuff- like the pasta dishes and this turkey cranberry stuffing wrap. The cheeseburgers looked good too. But i survived and had some good stuff too. I really liked the cheese crackers and fruit platter so that was nice and the soups were good too. Speaking of which I have to go home and eat my Thai Butternut soup from the NE Soup Factory. So that's it for now. Did I mention my 2 friends at work Leslie and Beth got me a $50 gift certif there and it was soooo nice of them. Everyone has been so supportive and encouraging, it really helps alot.
Ok I've had enough of the RNC for tonite- but of course I have to tune in for Sarah Palin's speech later- what a drama! I have dubbed Bristol and Levi the "first couple" and everyone at work it getting a kick out of it. Seriously- only in America does a moose hunting, moose eating, former tv sportscaster called the Barracuda become the VP nominee. What a story. I say good for her...McCain needs all the help he can get!
Things have been going really well...overall. I hit 80 pounds today- just shy of 4 months post op. I will have to check my measurements on my 4 month anniversary in a few weeks. The weight loss has slowed down quite a bit though, so I am trying not to worry about it too much. My addiction to Oh Yeah peanutbutter cup protein bars could have something to do with this- but I hope not. I only have 1 a day but I feel like I am cheating every time. They are better than a twix bar! Seriously- pick one up at your nearest GNC or Vitamin Shop- you wont regret it! Loaded with protein and very low sugar.
As I was trying to think of a headline for this post, 3 things came to mind. We'll start with the lobster. Had Dan and family over for a pool party bbq and lobsters last weekend. We had so much fun. It was a beautiful day and so relaxing. I was so excited to try lobster and it was soooooo good. I thought I was ok but about an hour later I started getting that feeling. It wasn't pretty. It was a rough 4 hours- until I finally got rid of the 4 small bites that I had. It still boggles my mind.
It was a rough weekend because the night before I had a piece of cooked broccoli and got really sick from that too. Come to find out- broccoli is very hard to digest and one of the things to stay away from post-op. Who knew? I wish I had.
So I was very frustrated going into last week. Back to my scaredy cat basics. Everytime I have a set back like this I just go to yogurt, soup and protein icecream until I get the courage to try something again. Luckily I was feeling good by the time we left for the White Mountains for Labor Day weekend.
What an amazing time we had...we stay at the Mt View Grand and it is our absolute favorite family place. Nick had the time of his life and so did we. They have so much for kids to do. Nick loved visiting the baby animals in the petting barn, swimming in the indoor and outdoor pools, playing at the playground, watching Cars and Madagascar in the hotel movie theatre, and having afternoon apps and drinks on the porch. Every night they had a big campfire and we toasted marshmallows and made smores. It was just great.
We went to Santa's Village and Nick loved it- he went on all the rides and loved the rollercoaster so much he wouldnt get off! We had to take turns going on it over and over again with him! My inlaws were troopers- -even they went on it! It was pretty fast I must say!
Lew and I went mountain biking and ended up doing an 8 mile ride with major hills- I was dying at the end but feeling great that I was able to accomplish it. I would not have even gotten on a bike 80 pound ago that's for sure.
Instead of getting a spa treatment I worked out with the personal trainer there and got some great tips for doing toning at home with a resistance band. I also did a few water aerobics classes in the outdoor pool early morning and it was a glorious way to start the day.
Ran into some friends from highschool up there, Scot and Trisha Poitras. That was kind of funny. It was great to see them, but unfortunately they told us to go to the Lancaster Fair and that was a big waste of time and money! What a dump that was- $50 for all of us to get in and it was red neck city let me tell you. I think we lasted 20 minutes....it was creepy carni city.
Anyway overall it was a very good food weekend. It was my first experience away so I definitely learned that I should have been more prepared for next time. But I also intentionally did not overdo it with my bars and snacks because I wanted to challenge myself to try some new things while I was up there. The first night was the best, I had a few bites of my mother in laws eggplant rollatini which was amazing. I have to make that. It was sans pasta so perfect for me. I also had a cup of carrot ginger soup that was to die for. I had 1 bite of a loaded potato skin but that was a bit heavy. The next night was a big tough, I was starving for dinner because we had a tough time getting Nick to bed so Lew and I finally went to eat around 9pm. I made the very bad choice to eat a few bites of bread while waiting for my soup and then I couldnt eat the soup because I wasn't feeling good from the bread.
I ended up feeling lousy that night and had the foamies bad but I didnt throw up so that was good.
The big news is I tried my first drink since April and it was fine! I am glad I got it out of my system though because it didnt really do much for me. So I dont think I am missing much but it's nice to know I can have a glass if I want to.
On the way home we stopped in Littleton to take Nick to Chutters- his favorite huge candy store. I was so happy my favorite jewelry store was open- it was closed last time after a car plowed into the front of it. They renovated and it is better than ever. So I treated myself to 2 necklaces and they are gorgeous. Check out Sterling Works on Main st if you are up there- you will love it!
So overall I am feeling great and starting to exercise more although it's been tough with my new work schedule. Nick starts school next week so 2 mornings a week I will be able to hit it hard. I am still nervous about eating too many things and I wish I could have more variety especially fruits and veggies but I haven't been too brave about trying. Now that I work M-W-F I cant afford to try anything crazy on those days because I cant get sick at work. Maybe this weekend I will try a salad with these morningstar farms fake chicken strips I bought. I might get crazy who knows!?
It was tough a few times this weekend seeing all the amazing food and I really wanted stuff- like the pasta dishes and this turkey cranberry stuffing wrap. The cheeseburgers looked good too. But i survived and had some good stuff too. I really liked the cheese crackers and fruit platter so that was nice and the soups were good too. Speaking of which I have to go home and eat my Thai Butternut soup from the NE Soup Factory. So that's it for now. Did I mention my 2 friends at work Leslie and Beth got me a $50 gift certif there and it was soooo nice of them. Everyone has been so supportive and encouraging, it really helps alot.
Ok I've had enough of the RNC for tonite- but of course I have to tune in for Sarah Palin's speech later- what a drama! I have dubbed Bristol and Levi the "first couple" and everyone at work it getting a kick out of it. Seriously- only in America does a moose hunting, moose eating, former tv sportscaster called the Barracuda become the VP nominee. What a story. I say good for her...McCain needs all the help he can get!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Had a blast at girls weekend in NH. It was so nice to kick back and just talk with Anna and Kathy for hours Sat afternoon. We were supposed to hang at Kathy's pool but it was pouring and even hailing! But we gabbed the day away in the condo so it didnt really matter. Then we went to Carol's new house for dinner. Linda was home from NYC- turns out for good- so that was a shocker. It was so good to see her and she looks great. Kathy Desmueles was there too and we all had a great time. Matt cooked up a huge bbq for us. I was able to eat a couple small scallops and some pineapple so I was happy- and I didnt get sick at all! I was worried the not drinking thing would bother me, but I had a headache all night so I had no interest in that anyway.
Carol's house is beautiful and she is so happy...I am happy for her.
Great pool day today, it was spectacular out and Nick is sleeping like a log- he was in the pool from 10-4! Went shopping for a bit...I can not believe the sizes I am getting into...it's getting really crazy now. I bought a few things to get me through the next few months at work. I bought them tight or 1 size too small...I am trying not to buy too much...but I am really struggling to get dressed these days.
I was so excited when I tried on this pair of jeans today- they looked great and I was amazed! This really nice sales lady was helping me today and I told her I had the surgery because I was telling her how I wanted to buy everything a little small. So she told me she is pre-op and wanted to ask me some questions about my surgery. I was honest...and I think she was surprised. She said no one has ever said anything negative about it and she was happy to hear my side. I dont want to be responsible for talking anyone out of this and I told her I think I have had it particularly rough...and that I am feeling great now and I think its getting better. But I told her its been no joyride! I feel it's important to hear the truth because it is a big deal...and so many people act like it's some new diet craze, and nothing could be father from the truth. I told her about my blog, so Judy if you are reading- keep doing your research and go with your gut!
I do feel like things are getting better. I was able to eat an egg white this week so that was exciting. I was so happy about the scallop at Carol's so of course we had them tonite and I got sick after just 2. Same exact thing happened last time I had scallops. Its very strange this fine the first night- sick the second pattern. My recovery is faster now. I have learned to just start walking as fast as I can and the pain passes faster. So i'll be hitting the soup factory again tomorrow- man i should win Customer of the Summer and get a damn discount!
Let's see what else have we been up to? Nick and I had a nice beach day with Anna, Jen and Maria and kids on Thursday. Nick wasn't into going in the water and all the boys were so that was kind of a bummer. I felt bad for the little bugger because I think he wanted to play with the guys but he afraid of the waves. He kept telling me it was too deep. Went back to my latin aerobics class Thurs night and had a good workout...I have to get moving in that department on a more regular basis. I think I am going to make an appt with the personal trainer at Mt View Grand when we go for Labor Day weekend and try and get a program going.
Friday Nick and I were pool bums all day then we went to this Used Bookstore that just opened down the street. It was so great! We got about 10 books for 4 bucks! That is going to be a great new addition to town. Well back to work tomorrow- I cant believe school is starting in 3 weeks...I'm kind of sad, we've had a great summer! I just pray he does ok in a new and bigger class...it's going to be a big change from last year.
Good night moon.....
Carol's house is beautiful and she is so happy...I am happy for her.
Great pool day today, it was spectacular out and Nick is sleeping like a log- he was in the pool from 10-4! Went shopping for a bit...I can not believe the sizes I am getting into...it's getting really crazy now. I bought a few things to get me through the next few months at work. I bought them tight or 1 size too small...I am trying not to buy too much...but I am really struggling to get dressed these days.
I was so excited when I tried on this pair of jeans today- they looked great and I was amazed! This really nice sales lady was helping me today and I told her I had the surgery because I was telling her how I wanted to buy everything a little small. So she told me she is pre-op and wanted to ask me some questions about my surgery. I was honest...and I think she was surprised. She said no one has ever said anything negative about it and she was happy to hear my side. I dont want to be responsible for talking anyone out of this and I told her I think I have had it particularly rough...and that I am feeling great now and I think its getting better. But I told her its been no joyride! I feel it's important to hear the truth because it is a big deal...and so many people act like it's some new diet craze, and nothing could be father from the truth. I told her about my blog, so Judy if you are reading- keep doing your research and go with your gut!
I do feel like things are getting better. I was able to eat an egg white this week so that was exciting. I was so happy about the scallop at Carol's so of course we had them tonite and I got sick after just 2. Same exact thing happened last time I had scallops. Its very strange this fine the first night- sick the second pattern. My recovery is faster now. I have learned to just start walking as fast as I can and the pain passes faster. So i'll be hitting the soup factory again tomorrow- man i should win Customer of the Summer and get a damn discount!
Let's see what else have we been up to? Nick and I had a nice beach day with Anna, Jen and Maria and kids on Thursday. Nick wasn't into going in the water and all the boys were so that was kind of a bummer. I felt bad for the little bugger because I think he wanted to play with the guys but he afraid of the waves. He kept telling me it was too deep. Went back to my latin aerobics class Thurs night and had a good workout...I have to get moving in that department on a more regular basis. I think I am going to make an appt with the personal trainer at Mt View Grand when we go for Labor Day weekend and try and get a program going.
Friday Nick and I were pool bums all day then we went to this Used Bookstore that just opened down the street. It was so great! We got about 10 books for 4 bucks! That is going to be a great new addition to town. Well back to work tomorrow- I cant believe school is starting in 3 weeks...I'm kind of sad, we've had a great summer! I just pray he does ok in a new and bigger class...it's going to be a big change from last year.
Good night moon.....
Thursday, August 14, 2008
August Blur
I haven't blogged in 2 weeks- an outrage! I have been working a ton. Things are status quo...I have been coasting along...not taking too many chances because I was just burnt out from getting sick. I know I have to suck it up and try some stuff again because I am getting nervous about the monotony of my diet- not just because I am sick of everything but I know I need more variety for a better nutrition intake.
I know its time to try eggs, meatballs, chili and some veggies again. Its just so hard after having a bad experience. I'll prob bite the bullet this weekend and at least attempt something.
I have had some challenges lately, not like I had to make a choice, because there isn't one, but some food issues that have been depressing. We had our first big cake in the newsroom the other day- which is really miraculous that it has taken this long because usually we have one just about every week. Anyway everyone was raving about how incredible it was...it was not our usual Roche Bros cake, I guess they got it at this fancy bakery called Sugar from West Roxbury that I have heard of and people were dying over this cake. I was seriously distraught, finding it hard to concentrate on my work I wanted it so bad. I thought about taking 1 bite but they said it was so super sweet that I was afraid to dump and get sick at work.
The happy ending is that everyone in my pod was complaining about 20 mins later that they felt sick from it after! So that made me laugh! One girl said her teeth actually hurt from the sugar! So i had my oh Yeah peanutbuttercup power bar and it was all good in the end. Man i have to say that bar is nirvana- I cant believe it has just 1 gram of sugar and no sugar alcohols...plus 14 grams of protein- it is divine.
Anyway my friend Deb invited me to go out in Boston this weekend, but I was like, what the heck am I gonna do while you guys eat and drink all night? Last weekend, my friend Kelly and Bridget came over for a visit and then they were going to Chunkys - on of my favorite movie places where you can eat and drink while watching- so I had to pass on that. Then some guys at work invited me out to another favorite- Buffs pubs- home of the best buffalo wings and beers ever. I used to walk there from my Newton apt and I love it! SO you can see how things are a bit dicey in this department. I thought by now I would be able to go out and do some of this stuff and just have something small...but I am really limited due to my intolerances. If I could just eat a few more things...but in time I hope. It does kill me reading about all the stuff people are eating. This woman had the surgery at least a month after me and she had a subway meatball wrap for lunch and steak tips for dinner- I am truly amazed. I know that's why I am losing much so fast because I am still doing soup and yogurt but come on- I cant even imagine!
Nick Lew and I went to Rockport last weekend- it was gorgeous- I love it there. Anyway we went to a great restaurant overlooking the harbor and beach...I was really stuck about what to order because all the fish was fried and clam chowder is not in my vocablulary any more after the incident. So I ended up getting a lobster roll- for Lew- and having a couple bites of the filling. It was so good but too heavy for me. At least I didnt get sick but it was pretty uncomfortable. That's why every time I am just discouraged and would rather stick to my basics. But its tough trying to live normally and go out and all. This weekend I am going to Kathy's for a girls night and we are having dinner at Carol's house. I am planning to just bring my soup...but I am really dying for a drink. Here's the thing- its such a weird place to be in- it's not like the old days when I was just on HMR or any diet and cheating was so do-able and you could take a break and enjoy yourself then get back on track. I suppose that's why it didnt work for me! But if i decide to have a drink and it backfires- I could get violently sick and ruin my whole weekend. So its just not worth it. Well the girls are happy because they have a full time designated driver now. I dont want to get sick because Sunday we are going to a kids fest in Gloucester so I dont want to miss that. Of course there is a pancake breakfast and a lobster/clam bake there...but it's always something.
Lew and I are going to NYC for our 5 year anniversary. 5 years? It feels like 50!:)
I wanted to do something different since we always go to Topnotch and I adore the restaurants up there. Of course NY is a major foodie town too but at least we can go to a Broadway show and do some Christmas shopping, see the tree etc. we are going the first week in December. So we booked the Hilton with his points in Times Square...and I am trying to decide what show to see. I haven't been to the city in years so that will be nice. Maybe by December I will be able to tolerate some more stuff.
Good news on the protein icecream front- that is really going well. I have made lemon meringue pie, carmel apple, and cookies and cream all delish. Next I am going to make oatmeal cookie. I love it!
So the grand total today is 73 pounds and I do feel great. Everyone is noticing now and its fun getting dressed every day- when i can find something to wear! I packed up a ton of clothes last weekend- it was kind of sad which is weird...i should be thrilled! But it's like letting go of your past and I loved some of those clothes! Fortunately we are having a collection for Dress for Success at work so I can donate all my suits and work clothes. I must have thousands of dollars worth. I hope someone can use them.
Well I have to pack up...we are supposed to go to the beach with Anna, Jen Maria and kids today, but its not so nice out so not sure what we will end up doing. So happy to be off the rest of the week.
“Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling, enduring, and accomplishing.”
I know its time to try eggs, meatballs, chili and some veggies again. Its just so hard after having a bad experience. I'll prob bite the bullet this weekend and at least attempt something.
I have had some challenges lately, not like I had to make a choice, because there isn't one, but some food issues that have been depressing. We had our first big cake in the newsroom the other day- which is really miraculous that it has taken this long because usually we have one just about every week. Anyway everyone was raving about how incredible it was...it was not our usual Roche Bros cake, I guess they got it at this fancy bakery called Sugar from West Roxbury that I have heard of and people were dying over this cake. I was seriously distraught, finding it hard to concentrate on my work I wanted it so bad. I thought about taking 1 bite but they said it was so super sweet that I was afraid to dump and get sick at work.
The happy ending is that everyone in my pod was complaining about 20 mins later that they felt sick from it after! So that made me laugh! One girl said her teeth actually hurt from the sugar! So i had my oh Yeah peanutbuttercup power bar and it was all good in the end. Man i have to say that bar is nirvana- I cant believe it has just 1 gram of sugar and no sugar alcohols...plus 14 grams of protein- it is divine.
Anyway my friend Deb invited me to go out in Boston this weekend, but I was like, what the heck am I gonna do while you guys eat and drink all night? Last weekend, my friend Kelly and Bridget came over for a visit and then they were going to Chunkys - on of my favorite movie places where you can eat and drink while watching- so I had to pass on that. Then some guys at work invited me out to another favorite- Buffs pubs- home of the best buffalo wings and beers ever. I used to walk there from my Newton apt and I love it! SO you can see how things are a bit dicey in this department. I thought by now I would be able to go out and do some of this stuff and just have something small...but I am really limited due to my intolerances. If I could just eat a few more things...but in time I hope. It does kill me reading about all the stuff people are eating. This woman had the surgery at least a month after me and she had a subway meatball wrap for lunch and steak tips for dinner- I am truly amazed. I know that's why I am losing much so fast because I am still doing soup and yogurt but come on- I cant even imagine!
Nick Lew and I went to Rockport last weekend- it was gorgeous- I love it there. Anyway we went to a great restaurant overlooking the harbor and beach...I was really stuck about what to order because all the fish was fried and clam chowder is not in my vocablulary any more after the incident. So I ended up getting a lobster roll- for Lew- and having a couple bites of the filling. It was so good but too heavy for me. At least I didnt get sick but it was pretty uncomfortable. That's why every time I am just discouraged and would rather stick to my basics. But its tough trying to live normally and go out and all. This weekend I am going to Kathy's for a girls night and we are having dinner at Carol's house. I am planning to just bring my soup...but I am really dying for a drink. Here's the thing- its such a weird place to be in- it's not like the old days when I was just on HMR or any diet and cheating was so do-able and you could take a break and enjoy yourself then get back on track. I suppose that's why it didnt work for me! But if i decide to have a drink and it backfires- I could get violently sick and ruin my whole weekend. So its just not worth it. Well the girls are happy because they have a full time designated driver now. I dont want to get sick because Sunday we are going to a kids fest in Gloucester so I dont want to miss that. Of course there is a pancake breakfast and a lobster/clam bake there...but it's always something.
Lew and I are going to NYC for our 5 year anniversary. 5 years? It feels like 50!:)
I wanted to do something different since we always go to Topnotch and I adore the restaurants up there. Of course NY is a major foodie town too but at least we can go to a Broadway show and do some Christmas shopping, see the tree etc. we are going the first week in December. So we booked the Hilton with his points in Times Square...and I am trying to decide what show to see. I haven't been to the city in years so that will be nice. Maybe by December I will be able to tolerate some more stuff.
Good news on the protein icecream front- that is really going well. I have made lemon meringue pie, carmel apple, and cookies and cream all delish. Next I am going to make oatmeal cookie. I love it!
So the grand total today is 73 pounds and I do feel great. Everyone is noticing now and its fun getting dressed every day- when i can find something to wear! I packed up a ton of clothes last weekend- it was kind of sad which is weird...i should be thrilled! But it's like letting go of your past and I loved some of those clothes! Fortunately we are having a collection for Dress for Success at work so I can donate all my suits and work clothes. I must have thousands of dollars worth. I hope someone can use them.
Well I have to pack up...we are supposed to go to the beach with Anna, Jen Maria and kids today, but its not so nice out so not sure what we will end up doing. So happy to be off the rest of the week.
“Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling, enduring, and accomplishing.”
Friday, August 1, 2008
Not so Hip to be Harvard Square
I forgot i wanted to mention some musings on Harvard Square. Deely this is for you. I was kind of bummed to see how much it has changed since the days when I lived down the street in Central Square. I could not believe there is an IHOP right in the middle of the square- that just seems so wrong! I knew Central had been over run by chains and the likes of the GAP but I didnt know it was happening in Harvard too. It really made me sad. Then Nick and I parked in front of what used to be Tommy's pizza- Deb remember that place? Our favorite late night stop on the way home if we hadn't chowed down at the Hong Kong! That greasy pizza with the sesame seed crust was to die for! Anyway ya its gone- replaced by some fancy trattoria. What a drag.
Luckily one of our old stand bys remains and appears to be better than ever- Herrels!
Listen to this concoction- sweet cream icecream with TWINKIES smashed into it! OMG let me tell you how bad I wanted that. Nick had some and loved it.
They still have the sweet cream cookies and cream and I was thinking about how we used to take our nightly walks down Memorial Drive to get our fro yo! We were so skinny that summer! We were on the Webber charcoal grill and Herrells diet- and it was never better! We would grill shrimp or chicken and peaches and pineapple on the barbi every night then walk to the Square for our fro yo. I think we were going to the gym alot and drinking the occassion margarita as well! But hey it worked!
I also so another old fave, used to be The Wrap- now called Boloco. I wish I could have one of those babies- oh those were so delish. Well at least Shea's is still there...love that wine bar it's still a dive and that's the way it should be. I loved living in Cambridge and it feels so good to get a fix in the city once in awhile. I wouldnt trade my garage or yard or pool for my old apartment, but sometimes you feel like you are dying in the burbs! I love the energy of the city. One of my only regrets is that I never lived in NYC in my 20's. Although there was that summer it felt like we did...Kathy Deely if you are reading this- I dont know how your roomate put up with us! Remember we came just about every weekend- except our weekend was on Thurs Fri and you guys were working! We would come home from partying and you guys would be up already getting ready for work! Those were the days! We need a trip to the Room this fall!!!
Ok enough nostalgia for a Friday morning- back to reality I have to empty the dishwasher and get to Davis Farmland...my carefree single apartment days are over....sigh.
Luckily one of our old stand bys remains and appears to be better than ever- Herrels!
Listen to this concoction- sweet cream icecream with TWINKIES smashed into it! OMG let me tell you how bad I wanted that. Nick had some and loved it.
They still have the sweet cream cookies and cream and I was thinking about how we used to take our nightly walks down Memorial Drive to get our fro yo! We were so skinny that summer! We were on the Webber charcoal grill and Herrells diet- and it was never better! We would grill shrimp or chicken and peaches and pineapple on the barbi every night then walk to the Square for our fro yo. I think we were going to the gym alot and drinking the occassion margarita as well! But hey it worked!
I also so another old fave, used to be The Wrap- now called Boloco. I wish I could have one of those babies- oh those were so delish. Well at least Shea's is still there...love that wine bar it's still a dive and that's the way it should be. I loved living in Cambridge and it feels so good to get a fix in the city once in awhile. I wouldnt trade my garage or yard or pool for my old apartment, but sometimes you feel like you are dying in the burbs! I love the energy of the city. One of my only regrets is that I never lived in NYC in my 20's. Although there was that summer it felt like we did...Kathy Deely if you are reading this- I dont know how your roomate put up with us! Remember we came just about every weekend- except our weekend was on Thurs Fri and you guys were working! We would come home from partying and you guys would be up already getting ready for work! Those were the days! We need a trip to the Room this fall!!!
Ok enough nostalgia for a Friday morning- back to reality I have to empty the dishwasher and get to Davis Farmland...my carefree single apartment days are over....sigh.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Finally? Maybe? Please?
Things are definitely getting easier as far as food tolerances go. So far this past week I have had kielbasa, scallops, and cheeseburger pizza- crazy! Now when I say I have had these things- remember I am talking about 2 or 3 bites max. I had 2 pieces of kielbasa, 2 baby scallops and 3 bites of pizza, and all on separate days. But hey its progress right? At least I didnt get sick. I did however dump this morning after eating a couple bites of jarred peaches. They were in grapefuit juice so maybe that's what did it? I broke out in a sweat and felt like I was going to faint. But it only lasted about 15 minutes and it was nothing compared to the stuck problems I have had.
Nothing else much new- been stuck at 65 pounds loss for about a week now and today I was up a pound- give me a break- that is just nonsense. I am still at about 600 calories a day and been doing well with my fluids and protein- so I am just going to ignore that and hope it was a fluke. I am concerned about being stuck though- seems like a long stall. I have been eating alot of protein bars and wondering if that is causing the problem? I only have one a day but they are pretty high calorie. I hope to rely on them less as I am able to eat more protein rich normal foods.
Nick and I got together with my friend and former co-worker Laura Campbell today and had so much fun! We took a walk around the Charles in Harvard Square, went to the Curious George store and had lunch. It was so great to see her...and Nick really liked her...and he's pretty particular about who he warms up to!
Man it was blazing hot though- we were happy to jump in the pool when we got home this afternoon. Have to mention I am having the most amazing crystal lite flavor right now- Sunrise Orange. It is soooooo good and refreshing. I never thought I would be able to enjoy OJ again because of the sugar and this tastes just like it- yum.
"She went everywhere with a basket filled daily with a fresh blueberry muffin. It's either that or cigarettes she said and I am only strong enough for a life of partial virtue." From "Still Mostly True" Brian Andreas
Nothing else much new- been stuck at 65 pounds loss for about a week now and today I was up a pound- give me a break- that is just nonsense. I am still at about 600 calories a day and been doing well with my fluids and protein- so I am just going to ignore that and hope it was a fluke. I am concerned about being stuck though- seems like a long stall. I have been eating alot of protein bars and wondering if that is causing the problem? I only have one a day but they are pretty high calorie. I hope to rely on them less as I am able to eat more protein rich normal foods.
Nick and I got together with my friend and former co-worker Laura Campbell today and had so much fun! We took a walk around the Charles in Harvard Square, went to the Curious George store and had lunch. It was so great to see her...and Nick really liked her...and he's pretty particular about who he warms up to!
Man it was blazing hot though- we were happy to jump in the pool when we got home this afternoon. Have to mention I am having the most amazing crystal lite flavor right now- Sunrise Orange. It is soooooo good and refreshing. I never thought I would be able to enjoy OJ again because of the sugar and this tastes just like it- yum.
"She went everywhere with a basket filled daily with a fresh blueberry muffin. It's either that or cigarettes she said and I am only strong enough for a life of partial virtue." From "Still Mostly True" Brian Andreas
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Post Plus Size Purchase
Major excitement today and very unexpected. Nick and I went to Lands End at Sears to do a return and I just happened to see this beautiful chocolate brown vest with pink trim...for fall outerwear. I was laughing to Nick saying i cant believe this stuff is out already. So just for kicks i decided to try it on- thinking- well this is the NORMAL people section, so it will never fit me anyway. Well what do you know, the XL fit me - zipped up and everything! I nearly keeled over. Thank god it was only $39 because I just about sprinted to the nearest register and bought the sucker as fast as I could! This is the first time I have ever bought anything in a regular size in as long as I can remember...probably ever- at least it feels like it! So that was a great feeling. Of course I am now praying for chilly fall like weather because by the time I can wear this thing it will probably be too big! Oh well I can always exchange it for a smaller one! IMAGINE THAT!
We had a great weekend...oh had my appointment on Friday with Dr. Ameri...pretty uneventful. He was very happy with my weight loss, said it is a bit faster than the average for 3 months so that is good. He wasn't concerned about my intolerances or getting sick...said I should be happy that the operation is working and that I will have a better outcome in the long run than people who can eat more. He said it just gets them into trouble sooner. So that did make me feel better, i never thought of it that way. He said just stick to my safe foods and ride it out and it will all be different in a month or 2 then try again. So that's the plan.
We had a great day in the pool Saturday, it was gorgeous out. Tried to go to Canobie Lake last night but Nick fell asleep and when he woke up he was in a BAD mood and didnt want to go. I think the huge ferris wheel freaked him out.
Today we went for a long walk around Horn Pond in Woburn which we love- saw all the ducks and swans and Lew took some pictures of Nick. Then I went to a get together in Waltham of some people I met online that have had the surgery and live around here.
It was great, so nice to meet folks going through the same experience and get some advice and tips. It was very reassuring and great to see what they are eating and how amazing they look down the road. Several of the women were about 8 months out and had lost 100 pounds and were eating pretty normally, as in chicken, veggies, fruit, dessert. I noticed no one ate carbs or drank with their food, so that will probably never change.
Well off to work tomorrow- it's been awhile. Looking forward to seeing my news buddies.
We had a great weekend...oh had my appointment on Friday with Dr. Ameri...pretty uneventful. He was very happy with my weight loss, said it is a bit faster than the average for 3 months so that is good. He wasn't concerned about my intolerances or getting sick...said I should be happy that the operation is working and that I will have a better outcome in the long run than people who can eat more. He said it just gets them into trouble sooner. So that did make me feel better, i never thought of it that way. He said just stick to my safe foods and ride it out and it will all be different in a month or 2 then try again. So that's the plan.
We had a great day in the pool Saturday, it was gorgeous out. Tried to go to Canobie Lake last night but Nick fell asleep and when he woke up he was in a BAD mood and didnt want to go. I think the huge ferris wheel freaked him out.
Today we went for a long walk around Horn Pond in Woburn which we love- saw all the ducks and swans and Lew took some pictures of Nick. Then I went to a get together in Waltham of some people I met online that have had the surgery and live around here.
It was great, so nice to meet folks going through the same experience and get some advice and tips. It was very reassuring and great to see what they are eating and how amazing they look down the road. Several of the women were about 8 months out and had lost 100 pounds and were eating pretty normally, as in chicken, veggies, fruit, dessert. I noticed no one ate carbs or drank with their food, so that will probably never change.
Well off to work tomorrow- it's been awhile. Looking forward to seeing my news buddies.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Belly Busters
So it was one of my favorite places pre-surgery and I haven't been in about 4 months. But Nick kept bugging me to go so we went today and despite my eating 3 bites of food- I have been paying for it all day long. I am talking about the infamous Belly Busters diner in Billerica....home of the $6 BB special that Nick and i used to split. 3 eggs, 2 plate sized pancakes, 2 sausage patties, 2 huge strips of bacon, toast and homefries. No I'm not kidding. We usually did a pretty good job on it too. Well we got it today, because its his favorite and you cant beat the price. I figured i would have a couple bites of everything but the eggs. So I had a tiny bite of bacon, 1 potatoe, and 1 small bite of pancake. I knew right away I was in trouble. I dont understand why or how i can get so sick from a few bites of food. It is just so unimagineable to me. I tried to keep it together and go walk it off, do errands etc. I had Nick of course, so no time off for me. Even if I could have it makes it worse to lay down or even sit down. There is nothing you can do til it passes. This one was a doozy...lasted for 4 hours of agony. We went to the mall and I kept running into every bathroom in every store, thinking I was going to be sick. I never threw up but I had the foamies really bad and I was in so much pain.
I called Lew from the Build a Bear bathroom crying, telling him he had to come get us because I did not think I could make it home. Of course he was in a big meeting so we ended up sitting on a couch outside Nordstroms for about a half hour while I prayed and clutched a plastic bag. Nick was such a trooper, he was so patient and just people watched and ate his lollipop. I finally staggered to the car and made it home, thank god we only live a mile away. Lew came home a few minutes later and took Nick out for an icecream while I laid down...the pain had subsided a bit and I was just exhuasted and drained from the drama. Not to mention I have only had 6 ounces of water all day and those 3 bites of food. So I passed out and slept for an hour. I just woke up and feel better but I am nursing a small cup of Propel and its slow going. I can not wait to go to the doctors tomorrow. I better get some answers.
I ran into an old friend at the mall today- luckily I wasn't at my worst sick stage when I saw her. I was still functioning and just feeling lousy- but not running for the bathroom just yet. I worked with Cathy Craig back at WMUR - our first tv job. We were really good friends and have alot of great memories. It was so fun to catch up with her. She was with her 3 boys! Turns out she lives the next town over, Winchester, so we are going to get together soon. So that was fun.
Ok stand by for the big post doc appt update tomorrow...I pray we get some help.
Down 65 pounds today...but what does it matter if I feel like this?? It has to get better.
I called Lew from the Build a Bear bathroom crying, telling him he had to come get us because I did not think I could make it home. Of course he was in a big meeting so we ended up sitting on a couch outside Nordstroms for about a half hour while I prayed and clutched a plastic bag. Nick was such a trooper, he was so patient and just people watched and ate his lollipop. I finally staggered to the car and made it home, thank god we only live a mile away. Lew came home a few minutes later and took Nick out for an icecream while I laid down...the pain had subsided a bit and I was just exhuasted and drained from the drama. Not to mention I have only had 6 ounces of water all day and those 3 bites of food. So I passed out and slept for an hour. I just woke up and feel better but I am nursing a small cup of Propel and its slow going. I can not wait to go to the doctors tomorrow. I better get some answers.
I ran into an old friend at the mall today- luckily I wasn't at my worst sick stage when I saw her. I was still functioning and just feeling lousy- but not running for the bathroom just yet. I worked with Cathy Craig back at WMUR - our first tv job. We were really good friends and have alot of great memories. It was so fun to catch up with her. She was with her 3 boys! Turns out she lives the next town over, Winchester, so we are going to get together soon. So that was fun.
Ok stand by for the big post doc appt update tomorrow...I pray we get some help.
Down 65 pounds today...but what does it matter if I feel like this?? It has to get better.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Shrinking Wardrobe
Ok so I am starving and still getting sick alot but I just did my second closet sweep and I have to share. I can not believe the clothes I am getting into. Thank god I saved so much over the years...it's like having a brand new wardrobe every single week. It is CRAZY FUN! I just tried on some jeans that haven't seen the light of day for about 8 years and they fit! Boy that felt good to zip them right up and not even struggle. I had pretty much stopped wearing jeans for the past couple years because I couldnt even get into the top sizes and if I did they looked ridiculous.
I think I mentioned that flip flop skirt I bought in Florida about 6 years ago - a bit small- thinking i would just lose 10 pounds and be able to wear it. Well I never did, and it still had the tags on. I've been wearing it for a few weeks now- and its getting too BIG! I am trying to stay on top of the closet because if I dont catch a size at the right time- I am blowing by it. This is truly a foreign experience to me but oh yes I am enjoying it! It does kill me packing up all my old fat clothes- even though they are big- they are gorgeous- and expensive- I never skimped on clothes. I just hope someone can enjoy them.
Nick had a swimming lesson this morning in our pool- kind of a flop...he didnt want to take his swimmies off so he just practiced doing all the stuff he's been doing but we didnt make any progress. The good news is the girl who came over is great and she babysits! So it will be a nice backup if my inlaws are busy. Of course she's leaving for college in a few weeks...but she promised to stay in touch for school breaks and summer. I wish I had met her sooner. Nick really liked her- I think he had a bit of a crush! It was too cute.
Well we are off to Au Bon Pain in search of soup. I did have something new this morning- half of a Vita-Top Blueberry Bran muffin- yum. It felt a bit heavy but not too bad.
Quote of the Day
"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy." ~Robert Anthony
I think I mentioned that flip flop skirt I bought in Florida about 6 years ago - a bit small- thinking i would just lose 10 pounds and be able to wear it. Well I never did, and it still had the tags on. I've been wearing it for a few weeks now- and its getting too BIG! I am trying to stay on top of the closet because if I dont catch a size at the right time- I am blowing by it. This is truly a foreign experience to me but oh yes I am enjoying it! It does kill me packing up all my old fat clothes- even though they are big- they are gorgeous- and expensive- I never skimped on clothes. I just hope someone can enjoy them.
Nick had a swimming lesson this morning in our pool- kind of a flop...he didnt want to take his swimmies off so he just practiced doing all the stuff he's been doing but we didnt make any progress. The good news is the girl who came over is great and she babysits! So it will be a nice backup if my inlaws are busy. Of course she's leaving for college in a few weeks...but she promised to stay in touch for school breaks and summer. I wish I had met her sooner. Nick really liked her- I think he had a bit of a crush! It was too cute.
Well we are off to Au Bon Pain in search of soup. I did have something new this morning- half of a Vita-Top Blueberry Bran muffin- yum. It felt a bit heavy but not too bad.
Quote of the Day
"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy." ~Robert Anthony
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Mamma Mia...Here I Go Again.
Went to see the Mamma Mia movie with my friend Deb in CT last night. It was seriously over the top but I LOVED it! What a fun summer escape...the singing and dancing were hysterical. So funny to see Meryl Streep in this role...she looked like she was having the time of her life. If you go be sure to stay through the credits- a riot!
We are having a great girls weekend...shopping, hanging at the pool and taking her dog Max for nice walks. It's definitely been strange not doing what we used to do...eating, drinking, repeat. But it's been better than expected. Despite a few setbacks. I got sick just before the road trip and almost had to cancel..so glad I made it down.
I am really having a tough time. I feel like I am getting sick (rarely actually vomitting) but just really uncomfortable and bad pain for anywhere from a half hour to 3 hours every time I try ANYTHING new or stray from my "safe"food list, which basically has never progressed past the soft food list. I can not tolerate eggs, meat, bread, fruits veggies protein shakes or any of the good stuff i should be having! Its maddening.
The most frustrating is that some foods I think I am safe with are now starting to backfire on me, like soup. I have been living on it and all of a sudden i got sick from it Friday just before leaving town. Only difference is I ate a raisin- ONE raisin while making Nick's lunch and then had my soup right after and i got really sick- in agony for 2 hours with pain and burping and feeling like i am going to throw up but cant. Could one lousy raisin have done it?
Fri night had 1 small slice of California Pizza Kitchens thin and crispy white pizza. I was nervous about the spinach so i picked it off and everything was fine- no problems. Saturday i had about a half of 1 slice but i ate the spinach- very small amount....and you guessed it- I spent an hour in the bathroom with dry heaves. I cant live like this anymore. I am so bummed out. I am down 60 pounds (incl pre-op loss) and i want to be happy about it- but i am terrified to try anything new and its impossible to take part in daily life. I thought by now I would be able to go out and have some chili or shrimp cocktail and be satisified...but they have both made me sick. It doesnt seem like this is normal. I feel like someone is punching me in the chest when i eat and it takes my breathe away.
I do have a doc appt on Friday so I am anxious for that and to get some answers. I have called the office twice in the past month about this- asking for a scope to check for a stricture and both times they talked me out of it and said there is no way i have that since i am able to keep some things down (yogurt, cheese and crackers, tuna salad, peanutbutter and rice cakes, protein bars) but this just seems strange to me.
They told me everyone is different and just because they say we can go to a full diet at 8 weeks doesn't mean everyone is ready and to wait it out. This is all so BIZARRE, its like if i were on a "diet" i would go out and order a nice salad with grilled chicken and it would all be fine- but i am so scared to do that! I wont even touch chicken after the experiences i have had, and i dont know when i can eat salad? I have heard raw fruits and veggies are very hard to digest and someone said dont bother trying til 6 months out. I have alot of questions for my appt on Friday.
Last night we went to a Tapas bar and I had 1 tiny grilled sea scallop and 2 bites of grilled mahi mahi. That was fine- so I was happy. I was dying for a drink though. It was such a gorgeous night and they had pitchers of blood orange margaritas and i was salivating. If things were going better with the food side i mgiht have tried a sip to see what it was like, but i just cant go there til i get this resolved.
One of my friends (was it Kathy or Anna?) told me to try and treat this like a pregnancy...give it 9 months to really heal and adapt and by the end it will all be worth it and be so much easier. I thought that was a really good way to look at it. So I am trying to stay positive...but its tough some days. On the upside...Deb and I did some shopping and I bought a new bathing suit- down 10 sizes! That was a great feeling.
Well gonna go take Max for a walk and head home- miss my boys. Can't wait to see Nick and bring him the presents Auntie Debbie bought him in Hawaii including a volcano he can erupt in the tub- he''ll be thrilled- thanks alot Deb!:)
We are having a great girls weekend...shopping, hanging at the pool and taking her dog Max for nice walks. It's definitely been strange not doing what we used to do...eating, drinking, repeat. But it's been better than expected. Despite a few setbacks. I got sick just before the road trip and almost had to cancel..so glad I made it down.
I am really having a tough time. I feel like I am getting sick (rarely actually vomitting) but just really uncomfortable and bad pain for anywhere from a half hour to 3 hours every time I try ANYTHING new or stray from my "safe"food list, which basically has never progressed past the soft food list. I can not tolerate eggs, meat, bread, fruits veggies protein shakes or any of the good stuff i should be having! Its maddening.
The most frustrating is that some foods I think I am safe with are now starting to backfire on me, like soup. I have been living on it and all of a sudden i got sick from it Friday just before leaving town. Only difference is I ate a raisin- ONE raisin while making Nick's lunch and then had my soup right after and i got really sick- in agony for 2 hours with pain and burping and feeling like i am going to throw up but cant. Could one lousy raisin have done it?
Fri night had 1 small slice of California Pizza Kitchens thin and crispy white pizza. I was nervous about the spinach so i picked it off and everything was fine- no problems. Saturday i had about a half of 1 slice but i ate the spinach- very small amount....and you guessed it- I spent an hour in the bathroom with dry heaves. I cant live like this anymore. I am so bummed out. I am down 60 pounds (incl pre-op loss) and i want to be happy about it- but i am terrified to try anything new and its impossible to take part in daily life. I thought by now I would be able to go out and have some chili or shrimp cocktail and be satisified...but they have both made me sick. It doesnt seem like this is normal. I feel like someone is punching me in the chest when i eat and it takes my breathe away.
I do have a doc appt on Friday so I am anxious for that and to get some answers. I have called the office twice in the past month about this- asking for a scope to check for a stricture and both times they talked me out of it and said there is no way i have that since i am able to keep some things down (yogurt, cheese and crackers, tuna salad, peanutbutter and rice cakes, protein bars) but this just seems strange to me.
They told me everyone is different and just because they say we can go to a full diet at 8 weeks doesn't mean everyone is ready and to wait it out. This is all so BIZARRE, its like if i were on a "diet" i would go out and order a nice salad with grilled chicken and it would all be fine- but i am so scared to do that! I wont even touch chicken after the experiences i have had, and i dont know when i can eat salad? I have heard raw fruits and veggies are very hard to digest and someone said dont bother trying til 6 months out. I have alot of questions for my appt on Friday.
Last night we went to a Tapas bar and I had 1 tiny grilled sea scallop and 2 bites of grilled mahi mahi. That was fine- so I was happy. I was dying for a drink though. It was such a gorgeous night and they had pitchers of blood orange margaritas and i was salivating. If things were going better with the food side i mgiht have tried a sip to see what it was like, but i just cant go there til i get this resolved.
One of my friends (was it Kathy or Anna?) told me to try and treat this like a pregnancy...give it 9 months to really heal and adapt and by the end it will all be worth it and be so much easier. I thought that was a really good way to look at it. So I am trying to stay positive...but its tough some days. On the upside...Deb and I did some shopping and I bought a new bathing suit- down 10 sizes! That was a great feeling.
Well gonna go take Max for a walk and head home- miss my boys. Can't wait to see Nick and bring him the presents Auntie Debbie bought him in Hawaii including a volcano he can erupt in the tub- he''ll be thrilled- thanks alot Deb!:)
Sunday, July 13, 2008
9 Weeks Status Update
*Problems/Concerns/Questions for my appt with Dr. Ameri:
-Feel nauseaus in the morning and weak- hard to even sip water for at least an hour
-Food intolerances- see below
-Calorie intake vs. exercise calorie burn
-Vitamins- how far apart Flintstones and Tums?
-Scars- seem very big and red- will they fade and why so big?
*Foods that make me sick:
-All protein powders- have tried several brands and flavors and the lactose free types
-Eggs- 2 or 3 tiny bites- fine 1st day, felt sick 2nd day- vomited and sick for 3 hours 3rd day –
-Boars Head lean turkey breast - fine first day- put mustard on it the next and was so sick at work for hours
-1 mini meatball – ate half of it- violently ill and vomiting for 3 hours
-Clam chowder- fine the first night I had it- 2 bites for lunch next day – sick for 2 hours and then vomited 1 tiny clam
-Lean turkey chili- sick for 2 hours at work
-Mashed potatoes and oatmeal- don’t get sick but very uncomfortable from just 1 or 2 bites so don’t bother having them
Everytime these episodes occur I get way behind on my fluids and protein because I am so sick to my stomach and cant have a thing for hours. I am also terrified of trying new foods now and am very discouraged. I don’t know how to advance.
*Sick Symptoms:
-Severe pain and pressure in my upper center stomach
-Cant catch my breathe- gasping for air most of the times it happened
-nausea/feel like I have to be sick
-burping, want to be sick but can’t usually
*Foods I tolerate well (if I don’t have an episode from new foods)
-Whole grain pancake with sugar free syrup- go figure
-Crispy bacon
-Bretton mini crackers with peanutbutter
-Babybel cheese
-Mini rice cakes
-Grilled Tilapia- so so- can only have a couple small bites
-Yogurt no fruit chunks
-Soup- vegetarian only- still pureed
-Pudding
-Sugar free pops
-South beach protein wafer thin bars
-Tuna salad
-Baked Morning star farms veggie “chick” patties with dip
-Baked tortilla chips with Guacamole and salsa
-Isospure clear for my protein drink- have about 1 bottle day =40 grams pro
*Exercise:
-Walking 30 mins a day minimum most days/swimming/latin aerobics 1 hour a week
I want to do more but nervous about my calorie intake/output
*Improvements:
-More energy
-Knees and feet don’t hurt walking up stairs anymore (Plantar Fascitis gone)
-Sleeping much better- not waking up all night to go to the bathroom
-Incontinence gone
-Sharp pain I used to get in my side all the time- gone
-Migraines gone
Down 10 sizes
Lost 35 inches
Lost 60 pounds
BMI down 10 points- no longer morbidly obese
I can see my face now instead of a puff ball
No more hangovers!
Finally quit the caffeine and diet soda addictions and feel so much better
Keeping up with my 3 year old and loving it!
-Feel nauseaus in the morning and weak- hard to even sip water for at least an hour
-Food intolerances- see below
-Calorie intake vs. exercise calorie burn
-Vitamins- how far apart Flintstones and Tums?
-Scars- seem very big and red- will they fade and why so big?
*Foods that make me sick:
-All protein powders- have tried several brands and flavors and the lactose free types
-Eggs- 2 or 3 tiny bites- fine 1st day, felt sick 2nd day- vomited and sick for 3 hours 3rd day –
-Boars Head lean turkey breast - fine first day- put mustard on it the next and was so sick at work for hours
-1 mini meatball – ate half of it- violently ill and vomiting for 3 hours
-Clam chowder- fine the first night I had it- 2 bites for lunch next day – sick for 2 hours and then vomited 1 tiny clam
-Lean turkey chili- sick for 2 hours at work
-Mashed potatoes and oatmeal- don’t get sick but very uncomfortable from just 1 or 2 bites so don’t bother having them
Everytime these episodes occur I get way behind on my fluids and protein because I am so sick to my stomach and cant have a thing for hours. I am also terrified of trying new foods now and am very discouraged. I don’t know how to advance.
*Sick Symptoms:
-Severe pain and pressure in my upper center stomach
-Cant catch my breathe- gasping for air most of the times it happened
-nausea/feel like I have to be sick
-burping, want to be sick but can’t usually
*Foods I tolerate well (if I don’t have an episode from new foods)
-Whole grain pancake with sugar free syrup- go figure
-Crispy bacon
-Bretton mini crackers with peanutbutter
-Babybel cheese
-Mini rice cakes
-Grilled Tilapia- so so- can only have a couple small bites
-Yogurt no fruit chunks
-Soup- vegetarian only- still pureed
-Pudding
-Sugar free pops
-South beach protein wafer thin bars
-Tuna salad
-Baked Morning star farms veggie “chick” patties with dip
-Baked tortilla chips with Guacamole and salsa
-Isospure clear for my protein drink- have about 1 bottle day =40 grams pro
*Exercise:
-Walking 30 mins a day minimum most days/swimming/latin aerobics 1 hour a week
I want to do more but nervous about my calorie intake/output
*Improvements:
-More energy
-Knees and feet don’t hurt walking up stairs anymore (Plantar Fascitis gone)
-Sleeping much better- not waking up all night to go to the bathroom
-Incontinence gone
-Sharp pain I used to get in my side all the time- gone
-Migraines gone
Down 10 sizes
Lost 35 inches
Lost 60 pounds
BMI down 10 points- no longer morbidly obese
I can see my face now instead of a puff ball
No more hangovers!
Finally quit the caffeine and diet soda addictions and feel so much better
Keeping up with my 3 year old and loving it!
Monday, July 7, 2008
Vacation Rollercoaster
So I mentioned last time that I think I am doing better when I dont think to blog as often. Scratch that. I am finally feeling better so I decided to write about my experience last week which was not good.
Basically I had started my first week of a soft solid diet. I had a couple bites of scrambled eggs the first day, no problems. The second day, I think I drank some water too soon after eating and I was really uncomfortable and had alot of pain in my chest. I went to Curves for my initial consult and had to leave before doing a work out because I was in too much pain and I thought I was going to throw up. That passed after about an hour. So a few days later I tried the eggs again, thinking- now I wont drink anything for at least an hour after. Well I dont know what went wrong and I definitely can't explain it...but I had a horrific episode. I had 3 bites max and I mean tiny bites- maybe a quarter of a scrambled egg and 2 bites of toast, which i had before made dry and crispy like they said. About a half hour later (no liquids) I started feeling funny and knew I was going to have a problem. So I prepared myself for the usual pain and discomfort knowing it usually passes in about a half hour. Well no such luck this time. The pain kept getting more intense and finally it was unbearable. We were out doing errands and I told Lew to bring me home. I felt like I was going to be sick but I couldnt get anything up. So it had been 2 hours at this point and I decided maybe a sip of water would help me either push it down or throw it up because something had to give. Bad idea. The only way I can describe what happened next is I had this sensation of drowning inside my body. After consulting with some online fellow post ops, I think the toast and egg made a paste and blocked the entrance to my pouch. So it was still sitting there when I sipped the water. So the water had nowhere to go and started to come back up. This was absolutely terrifying. I could not catch my breathe and the pain was second only to the ear infection I was hospitalized for in 2005. It was actually worse than my post op surgery pain and that was no picnic. I wanted to throw up so bad but nothing would move and I was flailing my arms gasping for air at the kitchen sink, thinking this is it- I am gonna die right here and I cant even make it to the door to tell Lew I need help or the phone to call 911. I was paralyzed with fear and just trying to breathe but i couldnt do it. It lasted about 30-45 seconds and then I was able to take a shallow breathe. But forget it I was a goner at this point. I was hysterical.
I called Dr. Ameri's office and they paged him and told him I ate 2 ENTIRE SCRAMBLED EGGS for breakfast. She called me back and said he wanted me to go to the ER and that I had stuffed my pouch too much. I was like- 2 EGGS are you insane? I couldnt eat that if my life depended on it. I couldnt even eat 2 bites of egg!
So by the time she called me back I had recovered some and was feeling slightly better. I would have gone to the ER if the original feeling was still there, but I had the foamies and burped alot and I seemed ok. I was shaking like a leaf though and so bummed out about it all.
So that was probably the headline of our vacation week. Overall not a great vaca. I worked 4 days which prob wasn't such a good idea. We stayed home all week which I will never do again either. You need to get away even if its nearby and only for a few nights. I need to be away from the laundry, dishwasher, tv and computers.
We didnt have very good weather either- at least on the days I was home...but we hung out at the pool, took Nick to some fun places and had a small bbq on the 4th which was fun despite the blah weather.
So at 9 weeks out I am down 56 pounds and my diet looks something like this:
Isopure Clear- 20 ounces a day broken up in 4 or 5 servings.
Soup/yogurt/pudding couple ounces of each a day
Bretton mini crackers with Tzaziki dip (to die for- greek yogurt based dip I found at Shaws) and or with 2 ounces of tuna salad
Orville Redenbacker popcorn cakes (carmel or butter flavor)- dipped in peanutbutter
1 Babybel cheese
1 Propel mandarin orange bottle
crystal lite or plain water
So I am having about 500-600 cals a day and at least I can have a few new things, but I need to try more and I am too afraid. I have sworn off eggs obviously. I have to try grilled fish next. I am going to have some tilapia tomorrow. The tuna is the best- I cant believe it has 15 grams of protein in 2 0zs- that's only a quarter cup!
So thank god I can keep it down because I have heard some people cant.
I think I am hanging up my soup chef hat, tried making a bunch of soups over vaca and ended up throwing them all out. Screw it, I am buying the good stuff wherever I can find it. I have to find someplace around here- I cant make it to NE Soup Factor when I am not working. Tomorrow I am gonna scope out Sammy's Deli down the street- Lew says they have alot of soups.
Overall I feel pretty good, still frustrated with what I can eat. It's weird because now I am officially on a FULL diet, which is kind of a joke because when you are pre-op you think, oh if I can just make it to 9 weeks I am home free! But no one tells you it's going to be a LONG time, and maybe never for many items, til you are eating a FULL diet. I think after the egg and toast debacle, I am just happy to be breathing and pain free for this many days in a row. It's going to take a while to get my courage up to try anything new besides the fish which i was supposed to add a week ago.
I found out about a get together in Waltham later this month for pre and post op patients in this area so I am looking forward to meeting some people. This woman is having it at her house and everyone is supposed to bring a dish- now that makes me laugh! Some of the things people are bringing include, kielbasa, burgers and dogs, cheesecake and mexican dip. So I guess there is hope for me down the road. Or maybe those are the pre op people! HAHA!
"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"
~ Dr. Seuss
Basically I had started my first week of a soft solid diet. I had a couple bites of scrambled eggs the first day, no problems. The second day, I think I drank some water too soon after eating and I was really uncomfortable and had alot of pain in my chest. I went to Curves for my initial consult and had to leave before doing a work out because I was in too much pain and I thought I was going to throw up. That passed after about an hour. So a few days later I tried the eggs again, thinking- now I wont drink anything for at least an hour after. Well I dont know what went wrong and I definitely can't explain it...but I had a horrific episode. I had 3 bites max and I mean tiny bites- maybe a quarter of a scrambled egg and 2 bites of toast, which i had before made dry and crispy like they said. About a half hour later (no liquids) I started feeling funny and knew I was going to have a problem. So I prepared myself for the usual pain and discomfort knowing it usually passes in about a half hour. Well no such luck this time. The pain kept getting more intense and finally it was unbearable. We were out doing errands and I told Lew to bring me home. I felt like I was going to be sick but I couldnt get anything up. So it had been 2 hours at this point and I decided maybe a sip of water would help me either push it down or throw it up because something had to give. Bad idea. The only way I can describe what happened next is I had this sensation of drowning inside my body. After consulting with some online fellow post ops, I think the toast and egg made a paste and blocked the entrance to my pouch. So it was still sitting there when I sipped the water. So the water had nowhere to go and started to come back up. This was absolutely terrifying. I could not catch my breathe and the pain was second only to the ear infection I was hospitalized for in 2005. It was actually worse than my post op surgery pain and that was no picnic. I wanted to throw up so bad but nothing would move and I was flailing my arms gasping for air at the kitchen sink, thinking this is it- I am gonna die right here and I cant even make it to the door to tell Lew I need help or the phone to call 911. I was paralyzed with fear and just trying to breathe but i couldnt do it. It lasted about 30-45 seconds and then I was able to take a shallow breathe. But forget it I was a goner at this point. I was hysterical.
I called Dr. Ameri's office and they paged him and told him I ate 2 ENTIRE SCRAMBLED EGGS for breakfast. She called me back and said he wanted me to go to the ER and that I had stuffed my pouch too much. I was like- 2 EGGS are you insane? I couldnt eat that if my life depended on it. I couldnt even eat 2 bites of egg!
So by the time she called me back I had recovered some and was feeling slightly better. I would have gone to the ER if the original feeling was still there, but I had the foamies and burped alot and I seemed ok. I was shaking like a leaf though and so bummed out about it all.
So that was probably the headline of our vacation week. Overall not a great vaca. I worked 4 days which prob wasn't such a good idea. We stayed home all week which I will never do again either. You need to get away even if its nearby and only for a few nights. I need to be away from the laundry, dishwasher, tv and computers.
We didnt have very good weather either- at least on the days I was home...but we hung out at the pool, took Nick to some fun places and had a small bbq on the 4th which was fun despite the blah weather.
So at 9 weeks out I am down 56 pounds and my diet looks something like this:
Isopure Clear- 20 ounces a day broken up in 4 or 5 servings.
Soup/yogurt/pudding couple ounces of each a day
Bretton mini crackers with Tzaziki dip (to die for- greek yogurt based dip I found at Shaws) and or with 2 ounces of tuna salad
Orville Redenbacker popcorn cakes (carmel or butter flavor)- dipped in peanutbutter
1 Babybel cheese
1 Propel mandarin orange bottle
crystal lite or plain water
So I am having about 500-600 cals a day and at least I can have a few new things, but I need to try more and I am too afraid. I have sworn off eggs obviously. I have to try grilled fish next. I am going to have some tilapia tomorrow. The tuna is the best- I cant believe it has 15 grams of protein in 2 0zs- that's only a quarter cup!
So thank god I can keep it down because I have heard some people cant.
I think I am hanging up my soup chef hat, tried making a bunch of soups over vaca and ended up throwing them all out. Screw it, I am buying the good stuff wherever I can find it. I have to find someplace around here- I cant make it to NE Soup Factor when I am not working. Tomorrow I am gonna scope out Sammy's Deli down the street- Lew says they have alot of soups.
Overall I feel pretty good, still frustrated with what I can eat. It's weird because now I am officially on a FULL diet, which is kind of a joke because when you are pre-op you think, oh if I can just make it to 9 weeks I am home free! But no one tells you it's going to be a LONG time, and maybe never for many items, til you are eating a FULL diet. I think after the egg and toast debacle, I am just happy to be breathing and pain free for this many days in a row. It's going to take a while to get my courage up to try anything new besides the fish which i was supposed to add a week ago.
I found out about a get together in Waltham later this month for pre and post op patients in this area so I am looking forward to meeting some people. This woman is having it at her house and everyone is supposed to bring a dish- now that makes me laugh! Some of the things people are bringing include, kielbasa, burgers and dogs, cheesecake and mexican dip. So I guess there is hope for me down the road. Or maybe those are the pre op people! HAHA!
"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"
~ Dr. Seuss
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Stage 3 still miss the old me
It's hard to believe I am sitting here writing while eating a scrambled egg and a couple of breakfast potatoes. So far I have had 2 tiny bites of egg and 2 tiny bites of potatoe with ketchup. I am really nervous and taking it sloooowwwwww. If I have a bad reaction you may get to hear about it in real time.
I started Stage 3 today- soft foods, eggs, fish, tuna and egg salad. Thank god because I have had it with my current diet. If I never eat soup, yogurt, pudding, popsicles, hummus, or protein drinks again I will be very happy. It's going to be awhile until I can transition totally so I will prob be stuck with those items for awhile.
I have to say while I am feeling good and looking good, I am still missing my old lifestyle and food desperately. I had a mini melt down this weekend over it...Nick slept over Mimi's and Lew and I had the whole night to ourselves and all I wanted to do was go out to dinner and have some drinks. It was so depressing. When I stay busy with Nick I dont think about it as much but with the whole night looming it was like a huge reminder of what I was missing. I am amazed by the people who have had this surgery who say it's the best thing they ever did and they never looked back etc. I hope I get there some day because I so dont feel that way. I wonder if it's because they were so unhappy and I dont think I really was. I loved my life and one of the greatest pleasures from it was eating and drinking- I am not going to pretend it wasn't. I find the days drag on now and the nights are torture. Eating and all that went with it took up alot of time. We used to spend half the evening at least preparing the food, cooking it, eating it and then cleaning up. I loved having a glass of wine or a margarita while I made dinner and waited for the grilling to be done. I feel like a fish out of water now. I take a few spoonfuls of soup and dinner is over in 10 mins. No prep, no cleanup, that's it.
Diane has been talking to me about this for months and it is finally hitting me. I have to find stuff to do to replace food in my life. We've talked about it, and I had some ideas, but I haven't really had to deal with it til now. I think alot of people replace their food habit with exercise, I dont see that happening to me! I am starting Curves and my dance class but I dont think I will become an addict. Lisa and I have been talking about scrapbooking, which i want to do, but part of me is like- ok my life is truly over now if i start scrapbooking at night! I have to think of something else to do. For the interim, I rejoined Netflix last night. The summer without my shows is adding to the torture at night, so i said screw it i am worth the 8 bucks a month. I had fun picking out all the movies and can't wait for my first one to arrive. I know its kind of lame and not very active, but maybe I can lift weights or do the eliptical while i watch!
I started Stage 3 today- soft foods, eggs, fish, tuna and egg salad. Thank god because I have had it with my current diet. If I never eat soup, yogurt, pudding, popsicles, hummus, or protein drinks again I will be very happy. It's going to be awhile until I can transition totally so I will prob be stuck with those items for awhile.
I have to say while I am feeling good and looking good, I am still missing my old lifestyle and food desperately. I had a mini melt down this weekend over it...Nick slept over Mimi's and Lew and I had the whole night to ourselves and all I wanted to do was go out to dinner and have some drinks. It was so depressing. When I stay busy with Nick I dont think about it as much but with the whole night looming it was like a huge reminder of what I was missing. I am amazed by the people who have had this surgery who say it's the best thing they ever did and they never looked back etc. I hope I get there some day because I so dont feel that way. I wonder if it's because they were so unhappy and I dont think I really was. I loved my life and one of the greatest pleasures from it was eating and drinking- I am not going to pretend it wasn't. I find the days drag on now and the nights are torture. Eating and all that went with it took up alot of time. We used to spend half the evening at least preparing the food, cooking it, eating it and then cleaning up. I loved having a glass of wine or a margarita while I made dinner and waited for the grilling to be done. I feel like a fish out of water now. I take a few spoonfuls of soup and dinner is over in 10 mins. No prep, no cleanup, that's it.
Diane has been talking to me about this for months and it is finally hitting me. I have to find stuff to do to replace food in my life. We've talked about it, and I had some ideas, but I haven't really had to deal with it til now. I think alot of people replace their food habit with exercise, I dont see that happening to me! I am starting Curves and my dance class but I dont think I will become an addict. Lisa and I have been talking about scrapbooking, which i want to do, but part of me is like- ok my life is truly over now if i start scrapbooking at night! I have to think of something else to do. For the interim, I rejoined Netflix last night. The summer without my shows is adding to the torture at night, so i said screw it i am worth the 8 bucks a month. I had fun picking out all the movies and can't wait for my first one to arrive. I know its kind of lame and not very active, but maybe I can lift weights or do the eliptical while i watch!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
50 Pounds Gone!
Yes it's true. Down 50 pounds since my pre-op diet. I am feeling good. Went to get my haircut yesterday and was able to put on the little wrap thing they give you to change into for the first time. I have been going to Mandy for about 10 years now...and I always just say i dont need it- because i know its not going to fit around me. Well this time I grabbed it and ran into the changing room. And low and behold, the sucker wrapped all the way around and tied. I nearly fainted.
Still living on soup- I wish I could buy stock in the New England Soup Factory since I am living there. I know everyone there personally now! Thank god for that place, so so so good. I tried making some soups myself but they just weren't as good! And forget anything canned- I am way too spoiled with the good stuff now. I have been tolerating Babybel cheese- 1 a day- so good...and some mini bretton crackers which are great too. Other than that nothing too new and exciting on the menu front. I start soft solids on Sunday- but I am nervous. I have heard some bad stories about eggs so not in too much of a rush to try them. I will also be allowed to have soft fish...which I am not a huge fan of. I am hoping I will like it. I have a cook book for post op recipes and there are lots of sauces to try since that apparently helps to get the solids down.
The pool is finally open- hurray! Only been in a few times because the weather has been off and on and I've been working alot. Also Nick has decided he doesn't like the pool this year so he wont get off the steps. At least he comes in that far I suppose. He only wants to go swimming at Simonds Park pool up the street...a kids wading pool with a big sprinkler in the middle. He loves it.
Oh I buried the lead- Nick is potty training! Hallelujah! He wants a new jeep to race around in so I used the potty training as a deal maker and he has been full steam ahead ever since. No diapers for 5 whole days! A few accidents but getting better every day. What a great feeling not to have to change diapers!
Well I haven't been blogging much, I was talking to my friend Leslie about that and thinking maybe it's a good sign. I think when I am really struggling and low, I tend to want to write more. So I think I have been doing really well and adjusting to my new life. I'll have to try and write more when things are going well too.
I was bummed about a VIP Media party I was supposed to go to last night for this new hotel in Newton. I chickened out at the last minute- after I read the press release detailing the open bar with fancy cocktails and tons of food, apps and desserts. I just knew it would bum me out to be there and not be able to have anything. Probably 6 months or a year from now I will be able to do that stuff again. But not now. I heard it was a great party. Dee Snyder from Twisted Sister was there! HAHA!
I really am craving a drink I will admit. I just used to love a glass of wine at the end of the day now and then, so relaxing. Oh well. I start my free week at Curves on Monday to see if I like it, and I signed up for a Jazzercise like class at the Rec Dept and that starts in 2 weeks. So I will get my exercise program going...it's time. Still not doing too great with my calories, but hopefully adding solids will help. I pray i can tolerate some new things. My stomach is still pretty iffy.
Still living on soup- I wish I could buy stock in the New England Soup Factory since I am living there. I know everyone there personally now! Thank god for that place, so so so good. I tried making some soups myself but they just weren't as good! And forget anything canned- I am way too spoiled with the good stuff now. I have been tolerating Babybel cheese- 1 a day- so good...and some mini bretton crackers which are great too. Other than that nothing too new and exciting on the menu front. I start soft solids on Sunday- but I am nervous. I have heard some bad stories about eggs so not in too much of a rush to try them. I will also be allowed to have soft fish...which I am not a huge fan of. I am hoping I will like it. I have a cook book for post op recipes and there are lots of sauces to try since that apparently helps to get the solids down.
The pool is finally open- hurray! Only been in a few times because the weather has been off and on and I've been working alot. Also Nick has decided he doesn't like the pool this year so he wont get off the steps. At least he comes in that far I suppose. He only wants to go swimming at Simonds Park pool up the street...a kids wading pool with a big sprinkler in the middle. He loves it.
Oh I buried the lead- Nick is potty training! Hallelujah! He wants a new jeep to race around in so I used the potty training as a deal maker and he has been full steam ahead ever since. No diapers for 5 whole days! A few accidents but getting better every day. What a great feeling not to have to change diapers!
Well I haven't been blogging much, I was talking to my friend Leslie about that and thinking maybe it's a good sign. I think when I am really struggling and low, I tend to want to write more. So I think I have been doing really well and adjusting to my new life. I'll have to try and write more when things are going well too.
I was bummed about a VIP Media party I was supposed to go to last night for this new hotel in Newton. I chickened out at the last minute- after I read the press release detailing the open bar with fancy cocktails and tons of food, apps and desserts. I just knew it would bum me out to be there and not be able to have anything. Probably 6 months or a year from now I will be able to do that stuff again. But not now. I heard it was a great party. Dee Snyder from Twisted Sister was there! HAHA!
I really am craving a drink I will admit. I just used to love a glass of wine at the end of the day now and then, so relaxing. Oh well. I start my free week at Curves on Monday to see if I like it, and I signed up for a Jazzercise like class at the Rec Dept and that starts in 2 weeks. So I will get my exercise program going...it's time. Still not doing too great with my calories, but hopefully adding solids will help. I pray i can tolerate some new things. My stomach is still pretty iffy.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Meatball Mishap
Well it's been quite a week. I'll start with the positive...I am down 47 pounds in 7 weeks...crazy. I really can't believe it's coming off this fast. I am down about 4 sizes...and my BMI has dropped by 8 points. I am feeling pretty good, still get tired alot, because of my low calorie intake, but I am moving around so much easier and loving wearing all my old favorite clothes that haven't seen the light of day in at least 5 years.
Now for the buzz kill. I did something really stupid the other night and man did I pay for it. I made spaghetti and meatballs for my family and decided that i would try a few small bites of a mini meatball since it was soft and i chewed it like crazy- figured it would be like puree by the time i swallowed it. Well I was wrong. I was violently ill, 4 hours of horrible pain and agony, and I threw up for the first time since having surgery. I will probably never eat a meatball again as long as I live, seriously. You think, oh yes you will...but I remember drinking a bottle of peach shnapps one Sunday afternoon in my post office pinto on the drive from Manch-Vegas back to KSC with my crazy college friend Sara Kallander...I was so sick for days, puking up this horrible peach flavored puke, and let me tell you to this day just the smell of anything peach sends me reeling. So I think meatballs and I are going our separate way.
I must say the experience was quite humbling. You start to feel very cocky after surgery, you are feeling good and really pretty normal...like maybe it didnt really change much in there, and what is the big deal about a couple of dime sized bites of a soft meatball? Well it's safe to say you are not smarter than your surgeon, and something did change in there- and it will always be there to remind you and keep you in your place...and it won't be a friendly or pleasant reminder.
The pain was so awful that I can not imagine starting soft solids in less than 2 weeks. I will be so nervous and I dont know how daring I will be. I seriously thought I was going to have to go to the ER or worse, send Lew out for the dreaded meat tenderizer I had read about- of people who get meat stuck in their stomach opening and have to drink meat tenderizer and warm water to get it through. Talk about nasty. The pain finally went away after my seond round of upchucking...and without getting too gross and graphic, for the amount of stuff I threw up it amazes me i was that sick and in that much pain. It was a joke. Well I wasn't laughing let me tell you. It's all very frustrating and confusing, how do you know when you are ready to try something new, and if it's going to agree with you? As my post op instructions say, after 8 weeks you are basically on your own, and its all trial and error. Which after you get sick like that once, you are in no hurry to be adventurous again, I can assure you.
So I am have been sticking to liquids ever since the incident. Getting sick of soup and Isopure big time. I made an HMR shake today and was able to drink the whole thing in about an hour...14 grams of protein, so that was great. Still struggling to get in my minimum protein and calories, but doing well with the fluids. Water has gotten easier to drink thank goodness.
Nick and I have been busy, went to 'Imajine That' with Anna and Jen and kids on Tuesday, everyone had a good time. After that Nick and I drove Lew to Logan and went to visit Debbie and Max in the South End. We went to Max's dog park and Nick had the best time playing with about 20 dogs! We walked over to the Pru and he had dinner and an icecream out on the south lawn near the big fountain. We had so much fun...he told me he wants to live in the city too! We even went up on Deb's roof deck overlooking the city- he was amazed by it all...but he didnt want to stay up there too long- I think he was kind of blown away by being up there! Aly and the boys came over today and everyone fought over the motorized cars. Bad idea to take them out.
The pool is improving, it's not green any more just cloudy, I am praying we might make it in this weekend.
I am not sure why I am not feeling too excited about my weight loss. Diane says I am mourning the loss of my ex love- food. She had some excellent suggestions to help me continue my relationship with food, in a new healthy way. I am supposed to look up some soup recipes, shop for the food, and make it special just for me. I thought it sounded great, but I haven't done it yet and I am not sure why. I want to, but I am just in a rut having my same things every day. Maybe its just safe, I dont know.
I saw my bike in the shed today and I was getting excited thinking about riding it. My Nantucket basket was still attached and I was thinking about how much I loved riding around the island and then on the bike path near my apt in Watertown. I dont think I am ready to get on just yet- prob another 30 pounds or so. But I can't wait!
Well that's the update...and of course the Celtics Rock! Man that game was AMAZING!
Now for the buzz kill. I did something really stupid the other night and man did I pay for it. I made spaghetti and meatballs for my family and decided that i would try a few small bites of a mini meatball since it was soft and i chewed it like crazy- figured it would be like puree by the time i swallowed it. Well I was wrong. I was violently ill, 4 hours of horrible pain and agony, and I threw up for the first time since having surgery. I will probably never eat a meatball again as long as I live, seriously. You think, oh yes you will...but I remember drinking a bottle of peach shnapps one Sunday afternoon in my post office pinto on the drive from Manch-Vegas back to KSC with my crazy college friend Sara Kallander...I was so sick for days, puking up this horrible peach flavored puke, and let me tell you to this day just the smell of anything peach sends me reeling. So I think meatballs and I are going our separate way.
I must say the experience was quite humbling. You start to feel very cocky after surgery, you are feeling good and really pretty normal...like maybe it didnt really change much in there, and what is the big deal about a couple of dime sized bites of a soft meatball? Well it's safe to say you are not smarter than your surgeon, and something did change in there- and it will always be there to remind you and keep you in your place...and it won't be a friendly or pleasant reminder.
The pain was so awful that I can not imagine starting soft solids in less than 2 weeks. I will be so nervous and I dont know how daring I will be. I seriously thought I was going to have to go to the ER or worse, send Lew out for the dreaded meat tenderizer I had read about- of people who get meat stuck in their stomach opening and have to drink meat tenderizer and warm water to get it through. Talk about nasty. The pain finally went away after my seond round of upchucking...and without getting too gross and graphic, for the amount of stuff I threw up it amazes me i was that sick and in that much pain. It was a joke. Well I wasn't laughing let me tell you. It's all very frustrating and confusing, how do you know when you are ready to try something new, and if it's going to agree with you? As my post op instructions say, after 8 weeks you are basically on your own, and its all trial and error. Which after you get sick like that once, you are in no hurry to be adventurous again, I can assure you.
So I am have been sticking to liquids ever since the incident. Getting sick of soup and Isopure big time. I made an HMR shake today and was able to drink the whole thing in about an hour...14 grams of protein, so that was great. Still struggling to get in my minimum protein and calories, but doing well with the fluids. Water has gotten easier to drink thank goodness.
Nick and I have been busy, went to 'Imajine That' with Anna and Jen and kids on Tuesday, everyone had a good time. After that Nick and I drove Lew to Logan and went to visit Debbie and Max in the South End. We went to Max's dog park and Nick had the best time playing with about 20 dogs! We walked over to the Pru and he had dinner and an icecream out on the south lawn near the big fountain. We had so much fun...he told me he wants to live in the city too! We even went up on Deb's roof deck overlooking the city- he was amazed by it all...but he didnt want to stay up there too long- I think he was kind of blown away by being up there! Aly and the boys came over today and everyone fought over the motorized cars. Bad idea to take them out.
The pool is improving, it's not green any more just cloudy, I am praying we might make it in this weekend.
I am not sure why I am not feeling too excited about my weight loss. Diane says I am mourning the loss of my ex love- food. She had some excellent suggestions to help me continue my relationship with food, in a new healthy way. I am supposed to look up some soup recipes, shop for the food, and make it special just for me. I thought it sounded great, but I haven't done it yet and I am not sure why. I want to, but I am just in a rut having my same things every day. Maybe its just safe, I dont know.
I saw my bike in the shed today and I was getting excited thinking about riding it. My Nantucket basket was still attached and I was thinking about how much I loved riding around the island and then on the bike path near my apt in Watertown. I dont think I am ready to get on just yet- prob another 30 pounds or so. But I can't wait!
Well that's the update...and of course the Celtics Rock! Man that game was AMAZING!
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