Wonderland- 5 months post op

So rather than elaborate about how another month has passed without a blog entry- I will just get to the headlines. No time for excuses!

I was 5 months post op yesterday and there is much to report. I'll get to the good stuff first to try and remind myself how far I have come. I am down 93 pounds and have joined the club known to post ops as "Wonderland." It basically means you are finally out of the 200's and back in the one hundreds on the scale. It's been a very long time for me so that was a big moment. I have to do a measurements check- so not sure bout that right now. But I have gone down more sizes since I last checked in...and while this is of course great- some of my new clothes that I bought just a few months ago are already too big and that is crazy!

I am enjoying tons of compliments at work and sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. It's like all of a sudden everyone is noticing and they are stunned. I have told most of my friends and coworkers but there are some I dont know well enough so I just say thanks and try to escape!

I am feeling good most of the time and really enjoying my freedom...just moving around so easily and not feeling so tired and gross all the time.
We went to Storyland last weekend and it was so great going on all the rides again with Nick. Not worrying about not fitting and stuff like that. I know last summer I would not have been able to go on the rides- so that was huge.

Now for the not so great stuff. I am still really struggling with my food choices. I am so limited and I cant believe it has lasted this long. I feel very frustrated and scared that this is not going to change. Every time I try something new and it is a success- the next time I try it- it makes me sick- same old story. I am so tired of protein bars and still cant do the shakes. I did ok with grilled chicken and chicken salad for a few weeks and i was so happy about that. But the last few times I had it-I got sick. I find that if i dont make it myself and completely control it- I get sick. Even if it looks grilled and healthy.

We had a Halloween party for the neighborhood kids yesterday and I had 1 lousy mini meatball and was sick for the entire day. It ruined the party for me and it was awful. I was so mad about it. I feel like its nuts that i cant handle that by this point. Will I ever be able to eat red meat again? I was in pain all through the party and tried to ignore it- I was so busy keeping things going. I tried to throw up but couldnt until about 4 hours later when I finally did. I felt better after but I was so drained- I lost the entire day so only had about 10 ounces of water all day and about the same for protein.

Now to the hairy scary hair situation. I am losing hair like crazy- and I mean huge clumps every day in the shower. I remember reading a book pre-op and there was a chapter called "build your own kitty kit." Now I know why. Thank god I started out with a ton of hair, so I hope no one knows but me, but man it's getting dicey. It's been going on for about a full month...and I dont know how long it will last. They say to up your protein and get some special shampoo. I have trouble just getting in my 60 ounces of protein now...but I am trying. I have to find the shampoo too.

I dont think I wrote about the new support group I attended. It's a smaller post op gathering at Winchester Hospital and we had our first mtg last month. It was really good and I look forward to meeting more people at the next one. It is so much better than the general one I go to every month because everyone has already had the surgery so we can really talk about some of the more specific things we are dealing with.

I got a really nice email from someone who stumbled upon my blog that made my day.
She called me an inspiration and that is just incredible to me! So thank you Charlotte for inspiring me to get back to blogging, because it really helps me to keep things in perspective. You reminded me that the number one reason I did this was for Nick, and that has been a total success...because I know I am a healther mom and can keep up with him now. I know he won't be embarrassed of me like I so feared 93 pounds ago, and I know I can go on the rides with him, play tag, or do whatever else comes our way. So for that I am grateful.