Down in the Dumps

So a few days ago I bragged about how I had never dumped. Well that's all it took....and here is the update.

Nick and I went into Boston after school Tuesday to visit the seals outside the Aquarium...then we went over to Quincy Market for lunch and shopping. We walked through the Faneuil Hall Food Court...wow it's been ages since I've been in there and it was overhwelming. I wanted everything. I was too afraid to try anything though and planned to eat my protein bar...until I met 2 exes named Dale and Thomas.
I discovered their popcorn at Target about a year ago and it is incredible. I love the chocolate carmel drizzle and wouldnt' you know they have set up shop in the Faneuil Hall Food court? I knew the sugar must be through the roof, but I didnt care. I bought a bag and dove in while we walked around. I was thinking- man I am gonna pay for this....I think deep down I have been pushing the envelope, trying to figure out just what I am going to get away with. So I ate several handfuls- the stuff is addictive. Everything was totally fine. I couldnt believe it. I realize that I definitely didn't eat even a quarter of what I would have in my pre-op days, but I still had at least a cup full- which equals 32 grams of sugar! My guidelines call for nothing over 7 grams!!!! So I was thinking- oh my god- I guess sugar isn't going to be a problem for me. And that scared me. Big time.

Fast forward to Wed night- I had asked Lew to hide the bag down in his office, but decided I wanted more- so he got it for me. Don't blame him- he knows better than to stand between me and whatever I am craving. I started in on the bag, and after about 2 handfuls I started feeling funny. It was a new feeling though, not my usual stuck or full I'm gonna hurl feeling. I was woozy and felt like I was on drugs, blood rushing through my veins and my heart pounding out of my chest. I was like OMG Lew I think I am dumping. I made it up to bed and laid down, and it was like being really drunk and having bad bed spins. Somehow I must have fallen asleep though and when I woke up the next morning I was ok- just felt like I had a hangover. So it wasn't as bad as some of the accounts I have read, but I would be in no "rush" to experience it again. I am also glad it happened because I dont want to be tempted by sugar.

So I'm back on track...made a new batch of lemon protein icecream and been living on water crackers with a smear of Stonewall Kitchen Holiday Jam and cheddar cheese. Yum.
I had 2 small pieces of the best quesadilla the other night, baked really crispy with brie, green apple slices, almonds, cranberries and almonds. Amazing. Tonite I had 1 baked mozzarella stick that I made myself. I was tired of looking at those mozarella sticks in the fridge that Nick wasn't eating. So I rolled them in flaxseed and whole wheat panko crumbs, froze them and then baked them in the toaster oven. So good. Lew woofed them down. Tomorrow I think I will make a sugar free pumpkin pie and do a chicken recipe in my crock pot...supposed to be a nice rainy day and the Pats are on so we'll be home.

Ok I am exhausted. Grant's bday party was a blast today...Nick loved being on the farm, seeing the animals and taking a tractor ride out to pick a pumpkin. I am so glad I was able to be there. Funny how everything works out the way it should...most of the time!

Thought for the night as I try and move on from the Battle in the Berkshires
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, today is a gift, that's why its called the present."